A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I work with a girl who first told me she liked me about two months ago. We've been on a few dates since but recently her posessive ex has come back into the picture and I think she is really confused as to what she wants. I've never really told her how I really feel as I didn't want to scare or rush her. Would it be wrong of me to write her a letter explaining my feelings, but saying I still want to be friends no matter what in order to avoid any awkwardness at work? We never seem to able to get the chance to talk in private but I need to say something for my own peace of mind. Is it wrong to put my thoughts in a letter rather than face to face? Will she feel awakward about this or will some girls prefer this? I write better than I talk but it does feel like the coward's way out. What do people think? Thanks.
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Well, that is a tough one, you have been on a few dates, but nothing serious yet, and she has an old love hanging around....I think your urge is to blurt out how you feel about her either in person or in writing, but if she is opening up to you about him being in the picture and how it is confusing her, then telling her how you feel about her just now may make her feel pressured to chose between you.
The smarter thing to do would be to bide your time, and continue being a friend to her, she will appreciate that much more, and if you play your cards right, close to the vest, she will come to depend on you for that friendship, and the old love may be history. Thing is you have to act confident, don't bash him, and let her know that you have other offers to date women, and she will realize she may lose a great guy because of an old boyfriend.
Let your relationship unfold, and maybe it will lead to more romance...that said, you mentioned awkwardness at work, what if the two of you did start a serious relationship and it did not work out, would you be able to deal with it at work, and do you think your co-workers would be uncomfortable? Work relationships are always tricky, so just be careful and low key at work.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (9 June 2007):
 If she's unsure, then you need to leave her be. I would move on to someone who is emotionally prepared for a new relationship.
DV1
...............................
|
