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anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for over 5 months now and I really love him, but my dad doesn't like him and won't meet him because of his religion. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2005): You need to tell your dad that you love him and your dad shouldnt judge him on his religion !!!! If you love him you need to tell your dad to realise that and it would make your very happy if he met him ...luv franxx
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reader, pops +, writes (18 June 2005):
Just how serious are you about this relationship? If your father objects to the " boy" because of his religion, I suspect you have been taught in your family that you owe your family to a duty to date and marry only within your own religion. If you don't agree with that proposition, this is what you need to talk about with your father and mother, and other family members. Try to get them to see your point of view. Listen to theirs. They have their reasons for trying to maintain religious ties within the family. Ultimately, you will decide for yourself, and it you go against your father's wishes, which I gather are so important that you wrote in here, you may lose your family support. That is a very high price to pay for anything but a very serious relationship. I once asked a class mate out to see a concert. She refused because she was Jewish! I was not asking her to marry me, and have my children. All I asked was if she would like to go to the concert ! I think she acted inappropriately, but it was her loss. I grew up in the Chicago area, where ethnic and religious identities are still important to many immigrant groups. I used to think their attitudes were unAmerican, and I still think it is bigotry. However, This is the land of religious freedom, and we allow people to practice their own religions, within reason. I am not a big fan of people who impose such restrictions on their children, simply because they can. But, I saw it done all my childhood. The kids generally made up their own minds when they grew up. My uncle was an Agnostic, married to a Roman Catholic, and allowed his four daughters to be raised in th catholic church. His oldest daughter in now in Nepal, teaching English as a second language and studying Budhism. The second calls herself a catholic, but rarely attends. The younger two are married to catholics, but are not active in the church. So much for religious training. You will make up your own mind regardless of what your father's wishes are. And he will have to either accept your decisions, or lose you. pops
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2005): Talk to your dad and try and explain to him how you feel about this boy. You should also try to also find out why your dad is reacting in this way. sit down with him and talk things out openly. be honest about your feelings and try to see it from your dads point of view as well. hope this helps. take care
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