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female
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*zedan16
writes: Hi i really need your help...my dad found out that i've been seeing a guy that i meet on hoilday last year, our family's are close we are both muslims. He asked to marry me but my dad said no. he said does not have an education but he works. i love him. i've never been able to speak up to my dad before but i really need to, i don't want to lose any of them.
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female
reader, bethany2k5 +, writes (3 December 2005):
hey i think you should follow you heart
do what ever feels right at the end of the day your
dad should love u no matter what u decide!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2005): You have huge decision to make here, hun. There is a lot at stake for you. I am not trying to dissuade you from continuing your relationship with this young man. I am just trying to open this subject further. I am not a "love conquers all" kind person. Love is a good beginning, but commitment, values, family connections and friendships are what makes marriages work over the long haul. It darn hard work and takes committment. Family is a blessing-it's important. When you marry someday, your family will play a crucial, important part in your life and that of your future children. If Dad isn't for this union, then you really need to evaluate how much you are willing to lose over this relationship. Is the alienation of your parents worth the relationship? Is it worth putting your family through this difficulty? For some people it is worth it, for others it is not. Your bf will also need to evaluate and make these same choices. You will want grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins for your babies as well as the sense of a safe, warm place and belonging that your family has provided in your life, up until now. You may be at an age where you are feeling a bit distant from your family due to differing viewpoints. This is normal for young adults, but over time as you mature and kids come into the picture, I guaruntee, you will want to reconnect with your family. I think you need to be honest with your family, but I think you also need to truthfully and honestly look at the world you are jumping into and the world you may be leaving behind, if you do go ahead and marry this fellow without Mom and Dad's blessings. Please give this some thought and think it out clearly how you want to talk to your father. He loves you and just likely wants what is best for you, hun. I can't tell you what to say but sit down with your Dad...and just speak from your heart. Hopefully he'll listen. Before you do-take your time to think and make absolutely sure this fellow is really who you want to be with. Do not make poor choices that will effect the rest of your life. It is not fair to you, your family, or your future children. I wish you well, you have a big task ahead of you. Take care
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female
reader, deirde +, writes (2 December 2005):
You are currently in the middle aren't you?I can see why you dad is doing this, he wants to protect his girl and make sure that she will have a secure life ahead.I know that at this moment in time you can only see that you want to be with this lad and it must be very hard for you. Ask you dad if you can talk and stress all the good points that this lad has and ask you dad if he will let him come over to your place and talk it through together.I know its hard having to stand up to your parents when you feel so strong about something but you have to do it in the right way or you could end up losing everything you ever had.Stay strong and think about what you are going to say before you do as things are often said in the heat of the moment that people don't always mean.
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