A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Detailed so that I can get careful analysis. I apologize for the length but I want to learn and leave it.?So, I want to know what I can do to grow from this experience and help with the future: Please tell me all the possible lessons I should have got out of this.I liked a guy and initially he liked me too. HE told me to compare and contrast answers through facebook for hmwk. We never did that though. He deleted that he added me as a friend, which I found weird. We're both pre-meds but super good looking (I have to work for it though). Initially we were flirting but sometimes I would ignore him. I felt scared and shy.He put up this thing our class talked about in school and I asked him about it and he didn't respond to anyone but me. It was about birds and love. The next week I commented on it and we were okay again and flirting, atlhough he deleted my comment--the only comment that got the true meaning of the picture. I was tired of taking it so slow and giving mixed signal bc the day after commenting on that pic he approached me but I ignored him for my friend. Once I IMed on fb chat but it came out wrong... it basically sounded as if I was saying "Cool guys with a life hsouldn't be onfb chat" and he went off after I said that. So I told him I like talking to him and I wish he would talk to me more. To reinforce it, I sat closer to him inclass--not next to him but in the same area. He usually has girls sit by him but he ignores them and stares at me, so much so that his friends, his friends that are girls (who hate me still) and even the professor notice. After that he started dressing up really hot. He also started talking openly more often, but always the same lines "Hey How are you?" I wouldn't really extend the convo but seriously I just didn't know how. Girls in my culture don't initiate... everyone thinks I'm persian but I'm actually from a conservative Muslim household but trying to change it to be more open. I IMed on the last week of classes but he was idle both times (it showed it after 2 minutes of IMing). He even approached me twice two times but it just wasn't going anywhere because I just didn't know what I was suppose to do. Then on the last day of class I wanted to say bye to him at least... and I kept bumping into him... so finally I couldn't avoid him bc he was alone and in front of me and he says his robotic "Hey How are you?" and I say "fine how are you." He literally freaks out and starts talking rude to me and says "I have to go. I'm super busy. I have to go." People noticed our feelings in class and one of my friends (who said he's too crazy and wild for sweet girls and that she should set me up with a sweet guy also) noticed he defriended me on facebook. Not only that he blocked me. I have a lot of respect for myself so I had to do something. So I sent him a message through my family fb account and basically said he was immature and should have handled things more politely bc I expected more kinder behavior and that I doubt he would want anyone to do this to a respected female and I'm someone's too. Two days later... I just thought I should be fair bc I screwed with his head too...so I t old him I liked him and sorry to play games but I was new at it, shy, from a conservtative culture, and freaked out at how everyone paid attention. The next week was finals. He's tall and he was looking for me and I spotted him earlier. When he saw me he smiled and couldn't help laugh (not rudely but really happy type). In class he looked at me, but n ot in the just I find you hot way, but I respect you. His friend that's a girl really hates me now...even though he hasn't unblocked me or blocked my family account. He doesn't go on fb anymore or update his statuses or check on his friend's activity. There's no new girls, just his needs to have no regret and party it up. Or maybe he's hiding the girls...just like he hid me.I don't think he's a bad guy. He's never been in relationships atleast picture wise or comment wise. Most of his friends ar eguys. He's open when he's with his friends and parties and clubbing...but no real relationship experience. He's arabic. I've grown up around Arabics. Gneeraly they party like crazy and then sober up mid-late 20s.As for me, I have no real guy figure in my life. My guy friends are old and true and have known me for quite a while for us to have gotten as close as we are (child hood friends, college guys that have been in my courses for years). It takes me a while to open up and although I have many admirers most don't appeal enough to do risks as I did here.I don't think there is a positive end to this but I want to grow as a person. Can you point out in all the ways I'm wrong. I know this is long but I could do some growing up and I don't want to makek the same mistakes. Thank you for your time.
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clubbing, facebook, flirt, immature, muslim, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): please pick me please pick me! It's only cute when puppies do that. eh..you missed all the major signs he wasn't interested and there are too many of them for me to write.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): You chased him too hard, tried too hard, and made yourself too available before he even earned it is why he wasn't interested.
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