A
female
age
30-35,
*siardo
writes:I kind of have a big problem going on in my life right now involving a man I don't really know well, but have a huge crush on. I'm almost 18, he's in his mid-30s. We've met each other twice now and the second time around meeting him, I felt we had a tiny "connection". We haven't talked much since, but we've occasionally spoken to each other via Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace. (Since he's a very busy guy, he doesn't really have the time for anything else except his job; he's always traveling across the country, doesn't get much sleep, etc.) I know I'm planning on meeting up with him sometime next year again, but I'm afraid that our "mini friendship" feeling will have been forgotten. My question is: How should I go about this situation? Do you think he has feelings for me that he hasn't yet shown me? Thanks for any feedback!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): This might seem blunt, but considering the maturity differences between a 30 yr old and a 17 yr old, there is an extremely low chance that he has any romantic interest in you.
This of course is absolutely no reflection on you at all. To be honest, even if you were maybe 5 years older, you would have a lot more to talk about. You're in a stage of your life where you're just beginning to understand yourself, and he has probably already identified himself with his career, his hobbies, his life experiences, etc.
Any responsible man his age would not engage with someone your age as anything but a friend. I'm 26, and I look young for my age, so I am often hit on by guys who are no older than 16-18. While they are adorable, sometimes I can't believe I ever used to be THAT silly. But I was, we all are... it's just about perspective.
So enjoy the crush, as sometimes adoring an older man teaches you a great deal about what you expect from your own age group. You'll learn a great deal by keeping in touch with him as a friend. But I would wait for the crush to subside, and look for someone to which you can relate. You'll enjoy it more, trust me on that one.
A
female
reader, ChelsCrafts +, writes (4 November 2010):
In all honesty, I'm sure that even if he has feelings for you, he is wary of acting on them based solely on your age. I'm not sure how you met him or what the topics of your conversation have been, but I would be careful getting involved with someone so much older since you are still in your teens. I would look for man with a similar lifestyle that you can really relate to in this stage of your life. Good luck!
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