A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So Im 17, and I 'love' my teacher who is 32(unmarried, no kids with a girlfriend). This has been going on for almost 2 years now, but circumstances have changed.... he has left and moved to the other side of the world where he once lived 6 years ago back to her . . Knowing him so well I predicted a year previous this was going to happen, wishing it wouldn't! I spent a good year or so making a strong relationship between us,I honesty did a hell of a lot for him, which he always said he appreciated. From what gather he knows nothing of my true feelings, and I would never tell him! Because A) he's hardly going to take me seriously...and B) I'd rather have him not know than risk losing him. On our final goodbye his last day :'( he told me id 'changed his principles' and said for me to add him on facebook (previously he had said no to this, to anyone who asked!) I had no indention of doing this before, but because He told me to I couldn't not. A few days later he sent me a message saying 'goodnight' just on its own no conversation before, nothing. Ever since then we have been speaking almost every day from a few minutes to over an hour!He mentions the things i made for him and how his gf has seen them and loved them :/ He uses the word 'creepy' which really irritates me, because i think he is describing the situation. But I love it because in a way hes still there, however a voice in the back of my head is saying 'he abandoned you, just delete him and move on'. I cant seem to let go and dont know what to do! I know if I deleted him he would want to know why... and i care about him too much.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 I admit I did not read the whole saga with all the updates, still, what's there to be confused about ? How difficult is it to just delete him ? What use could be possibly be to you, being a ) a shady 32 y.o.character romancing a minor that it is already questionable per se , 2 ) a guy who alreday has a gf/wife 3 ) one who lives at the other end of the globe. What else can come out from this situation, other than wasting hours of your time in pointless mind trips?
Get real, and start living IRL, if you haven't quite started yet, as I suspect.
Do you have real friends, a real social life ? (not on line ). Do you hang out with boys in your age range ? Do you have hobbies, interests , passions ? Do you study, do you have plans for the future ? Do you talk to your mom, hang out with your siblings ? Do you have a part time job, or volunteer , or take care of pets ?....
Those are just some among the zillions of things you could and should do to invest your mental and emotional energinies into something healthier and less ridiculous.
You are very young , and you've got plenty of time, but ... life is now. Start living it, rather than just dreaming it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2012): OP, I thought you were cutting ties on the 2 year anniversary you both met? You came here for advice, you've received good advice. There's only so much people can say to help you, the rest is up to you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe bought be a present. 3 Now im confused as f***!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): Eww.... He's old enough to be you dad. It is kind of weird. No matter how much you like him it won't work out. He has a girlfriend. Unfriend him.:) please
And abandoned you! Seriously just get over him
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (5 September 2012):
I'll be checking back here on friday ;-) Good you're finally taking matters into your own hands OP!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): Welcome :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou!! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): Forget about all the little details and why this and why that, these are the things that need to become irrelevant to you. Just focus on putting this behind you.
Its good to read that you're going to take the first step in doing so (Which is always the hardest, but also the most important), its about taking control which is what you need to gain back, and its the best thing in the long run. You'll get over it in time you'll see.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKarlos i really do want advice! And am grateful for yours. I want a resolution, i didnt expect replies to say 'Aw you should continue talking to him!' I expected,.. Its not love your only a child, he could go to jail etc...Ive never asked for advice before because i think i know the response. Yeah agreed i would definitely rather delete him myself than wait for something to happen which would cause us to stop talking etc. Umm I dont think he is trying to act unlike himself, its just a lot different speaking to someone in person than typing it. Put me off him, yeah i see hints of it 'age' mainly hes mentioned a few times about 'getting too old' for whatever reason. But i laugh because i think thats pointless ive tried that kind of stuff on myself many times. Oh BIG factor which drives me mad!! The first year i had him he referred to his gf as 'ladyfriend' the 2nd year when we were a lot more accustom to one another this changed to 'Mrs......'. In our messages now he still refers to her as 'Mrs........' (facepalm). They arent married though. Was this to 'put me off?' surely by now he would have realised it failed. ARH she's writing me messages instead?! :S Okay i'll be honest the thought has crossed my mind ONCE, but i really dont think that is the case. Some of the stuff we talk about is too close to home for her to know about, she wont know all the people in my school for example! No its definitely him but whether she has seen our conversations I dont know! If i knew I probably wouldnt like the answer. Im guessing she knows we have been speaking, etc... I got a shock when he said she had seen the things i'd made for him + what i'd written ( dont worry nice normal stuff). Even more of a shock when he said 'ive mentioned you before' so she already knows who i am! My name really isnt the most common 0.o Oh dear, depending on how much she knows as an intelligent woman i think YES she should be able to piece it together. Surely she would tell him to stop talking to me?? I doubt she would need much proof, id deny it though, and everyone would believe me. Creepy... hmm he definitely said it, i know because hes used the word before when he we was here. Ha professional thats a joke... what is the meaning of the word. Teachers are professional at times it suits them to be so and at other times not! 'behind closed doors' Oh crap, i probably under estimate how much people talk :/Ive thought about if i did see her in october and if she'd look at me with knowing eyes... scary muchRIGHT ive decided to delete him on friday there we are, because it will then be exactly 2 years since we met!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): You're setting yourself up for disappointment NOW, and I believe you know this already.
As for control you're losing it, and the only way to regain that is to be the one who makes the sensible decision, breaks the personal contact, and REALIZE'S that YOU'VE done it for the best. Or would you rather wait until he figures out how you feel and breaks the contact off with YOU? Then you will crumble to pieces and lose the last bit of dignity and control you had.
You say your little chats have seemed odd lately and it doesn't seem like you're speaking to him?
For all you know he's already figured you out and is trying to act unlike himself so you don't keep mistaking his friendliness for signs of something more, in an attempt to put you off him.
On the other hand, maybe its his girlfriend talking to you and she's trying to catch you out hoping you'll slip up or say something inappropriate in a message so she has proof that you like her man, because maybe he's not picking up the hints.
Grant you, men can sometimes be a bit thick when it comes to picking up on hints and signs about things like this, but females aren't! And I think you need to think back to when he or his girlfriend referred to your contact as 'Creepy' because that's the give away that already there was cause for concern and to keep the contact with you and him under surveillance. So don't be surprised if the messages between you and him aren't completely personal between JUST you and him.
Who knows? You don't know half of what goes on behind their closed doors, apart from what he may tell you and even then, he's only going to tell you what he wants you to know.
As for seeing him whenever you see him, the only thing you have to worry about is your own behavior because I doubt he will make a big drama about why you deleted him off facebook, whatever reason he thinks you've done it for. His job is to remain professional and that is that.
You're the one reading far too much into this whole situation and making out its a bigger deal than what it actually is. All you have to do is wake up and remove yourself from any position that puts you at risk of being disappointed, humiliated, undignified.
This really is all I've got to say on the matter because everyone else but you can see the bigger picture, but until you can yourself, nothing is going to change. And I STILL believe you didn't come here to work towards a resolution to this problem, but more you just wanted to share your fantasy with other people, hoping they'll sprinkle a little bit more fairy dust on it for you :/
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for youre replies!:)Yeah basically, i know im not going to get the desired reaction if i tell him the truth. I know he would be surprised (i hope) but i wouldn't gain anything from doing so.[You'll become very, very unhappy.]haha i already am! I cry everyday.. Right this second im speaking with him from half way across the world. Time difference is a b**** and its an addiction - I miss him :'( I was the one who had to hear how sad he was while leaving at the airport, i felt awful for him but i had more sympathy for myself because i had no choice. Okie dokie to the friendship thing! The whole moving across the world thing really isnt that much of a deal seeing as he jumps from country to country all the time, problem is if its permanent. I know he doesn't love me but he does care, ive earned that much. If he didnt give a s*** then i wouldnt be in this position. Haha yeah you tend to forget they arent as hyper aware of you as you are of them! I can scroll through thousands of names and pick his out immediately, i felt safe knowing where he was. My hyper awareness really confused people, i had this amazing memory suddenly. I do think he will notice if I delete him...seeing as we have been talking almost everyday for 6 weeks! God I know its the right thing to do, but I change my mind too frequently to risk making a permanent decision. I want to do it at the right time so im happy as i could be. October I just have no idea about, all up in the air... id rather prepare of it that just unexpectedly see him one day. If his gf is with him I will be tough to stand there and watch, ive never seen him particularly affectionate towards anyone. I dont want to see them build a life and family, neither do i want to cut him out of mine it was so much better with him in it. Time to stop the game i was so good at playing! I gradually influenced him more and more each day. Made things more relaxed until it became normality.Being uniquely me and earning trust was essential. I became consistency for him at school he wrote in my leaving book 'thanks for making me smile everyday'. I dont see what the point of it all was now.
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (3 September 2012):
First of all thanks for the follow up and thanks for really considering the points brought up.
["By telling him how i feel its like giving someone all control over me, and ive always been so independent. Or im terrified of disappointment."]
In the back of your head you know he's not interested and you're terrified of having that confirmed. He has no control over you (nor any desire to) as he's moving thousands of miles away with his girlfriend!
["Can't I be strong enough to make do with friendship?"]
It's impossible to be friends with someone you have a crush on because it's not a real friendship. Please trust me on that. It'll be too painful, plus you'll won't allow yourself to move on if you keep in touch. You'll become very, very unhappy.
The best thing would really be to cut all contact. Trust me, he'll get over it. He's not in love with you, so it'll be just another faded contact. He's moving away anyway, so it's not like you'll get to see each other again after this anyway. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. A guy doesn't move halfway around the world for someone unless he really really loves her.
["You said NOT to meet him in october but i cant STOP him from coming?"]
If you encounter him in October, just be nice but keep it short. Don't go out of your way to make him feel special, just behave like a student and say you enjoyed his classes and that you'll miss it. And then wish him good luck. Do not burden him with your feelings, just say a courteous goodbye and keep your distance.
And in your head, make this your final goodbye to him and follow up by deleting him off every social network thing you've got him on. Don't worry about his reaction; most people don't even notice when someone has deleted them off face book. You have to remember that he's not hyper aware of you like you are of him.
I know that right now it feels like you'll never find someone you love that much again, but trust me, you will. You'll find someone else who really is everything you ever wanted and even better: someone who feels that way about you too. And you'll look back at all this and wonder what the fuss was about. Thinking that your teacher was the only right man for you is basically an insult to all the other good men out there.
If you want to be strong and independent, you cut this guy out of your life, so you can cut him out of your mind as well. He's moving on with his life, so should you. You'll feel crappy at first, but that's nothing compared to the heartache you'll suffer if you stick around grasping straws on facebook to see him form a family with his gf. You owe it to yourself not to let that happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes i am determined and far too stubborn, for my own good. Id give almost anything to be 10 years older. But in everything I have done over these past 2 years I WAS completely aware of how much i would cringe at myself in the future. I made a big effort not to do anything totally stupid, never to lie, always being myself to be shown in the best light... with no regrets. Included in this was Never to tell him the truth, I saw how he treated other girls in my year ignoring them etc...and i couldnt bare that for myself. By telling him how i feel its like giving someone all control over me, and ive always been so independent. Or im terrified of disappointment.
Hmm i agree that i wont be in the best frame of mind if i was him. You said NOT to meet him in october but i cant STOP him from coming? Especially since ive meant to of deleted him from facebook! He nor I know what day he is coming so i cant really avoid it... im hardly going to run a mile if i unexpectedly saw him! He may even come see me, then what am i suppost to do :( You said 'He is probably totally oblivious to the effect he has on you. ' how is that? I spoke with him again today its fairly frequent, though it doesnt feel like its him.
I can see his future, hes probably going to marry her and have kids... which would obviously be a no go after that. It Scares me, i dont know if i can wait around to witness that happening. Even in years to come when he told me to visit him if im out there, even im not strong enough to see that. I feel like my cutting off all connection i have with him im waving goodbye to my happiness, he was everything i wanted just not the right age. Cant I be strong enough to make do with friendship? Or is that impossible? Btw yeah i understand that people who says that stuff are talking BS, its just not helpful.
I may be blinded but I do know him, hes easy for me to predict. IF I delete him he will contact me in some way asking why... or whats wrong? But i can see this is the best decision thats why it keeps playing on my mind, then im taking control for once. When he left and saw it 'fitting' i was the last person he saw I felt helpless.
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (1 September 2012):
**edit** sorry correction, I just saw you said "no" kids.
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (1 September 2012):
Girl you talk like a drug addict who says she needs a last fix to quit. Those are the kind of people who always end up as losers.
You need to cut all contact, delete him off facebook and definitely do NOT meet him in October. Do not go to him with the intention of explaining it to him either, you'll won't do it. Like Karlos said, seeing him again will just put you back in pink-glasses mode and your brain will be nothing but Swiss cheese then. Hell, you aren't thinking rationally now.
He is not interested in you from a romantic standpoint and he never will be. He has a girlfriend, he has two children (probably with her) and he's a lot older than you. No mature, well thinking man of his age would get together with a 17-year-old.
He is kind to you because you are a pupil and you're probably nice to him all the time. He is probably totally oblivious to the effect he has on you. Many teachers add pupils they like to their fb. I have my boss from work on fb, does that mean he is in love with me? No.
As for people saying you're a nice couple, they don't mean it. It's the same BS as people telling someone in a midlife crisis that they could pass for a 20 year-old. They're just humoring you, girl. You taking it seriously is just more proof you're deluded.
Sorry I'm being harsh but you're too stubborn for your own good. That determination you have is better spent on your future career. Look, I know how painful it can be to be in love with someone you can't have. I experienced it myself when I was 19/20. I had a crush on a guy twice my age who had a wife and kids. I chose to never bother him with it. You know why? Not because I knew he wasn't interested, but because if he was and he would throw all that away for me, I wouldn't respect him anymore.
Please be sensible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): Its not even relevant to see him in october, all that will do is cloud your judgment because you'll be looking at him all love struck with love hearts in your eyes and you will NOT be in a rational frame of mind to delete him and move on. You said you could never tell him how you feel, so how are you going to tell him to his face this is the reason you're deleting him? If you think he's going to fall to his knees and beg you not to because he's in love with you, forget it! (Not even to mention the fact he's bringing his girlfriend with him, you crazy? Lol)
As for him loving you in the same way, please re-read your comments and try to look at this from someone else's perspective. Just because you have feelings for this guy, doesn't mean you can expect him (who was your teacher, with a girlfriend, and a life of his own) to feel the same way, and unless he naturally develops any feelings for you, there's not a lot you can do about it, except put it down to a crush phase that will pass.
And exactly, the whole problem is this whole situation got too personal on your part, but I sincerely hope this is now beginning to realize in your mind.
Those people who said you will make a nice couple, I suspect they already know how you fee and were just teasing you, and you took it too literally, reinforcing the fantasy that you and him could ever be an item... Not going to happen, but they're immature.
I understand this must be hard and a little confusing for you because you haven't had a crush since you were six years of age, but this is just one of many you may experience in your life. The key is to realize whether there's a green light to go ahead or not. And if there's not (Like now) then you need to remember it will pass in time, its just a phase hun.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, okay im now strongly considering deleting him. But now...or wait until i see him in october and explain to him there why i am going to delete him :( Naww i cant believe im going to loose the only contact i have with him. All i want is him to love me in the same way. He told me it was fitting for me to be the last person he saw *cries*. Yeah i know everyone has crushes... ive never really had one for anyone else though, apart from when i was 6. Its hard when people says 'aw you'd make such a cute couple etc..' and they dont even know how i feel. We shouldn't of made our relationship more personal and less formal, i love the person not the teacher in him! Yes im reminded everyday because of my feelings but also all the memories that happened in that school that im at all the time walking round every corner expecting to see him like before D; Lifes can be such a biatch.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012): Well if you have too much pride to tell him, then you should realize this is a waste of time and that now is the time to have the pride to let go of these feelings and do the best thing for you.
You're only reminded of him everyday because of your feelings, which will fade in time. But keeping him on facebook and seeing his business daily is only prolonging the matter.
Trust me, ask anyone, we've all had major crushes... They fade, but you've got to be realistic about the situation, which right now you're not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHaha sorry, i know i have tendency to think im always right! :( But i do want advise. Iv'e already been disappointed and im not even sure what i want to achieve anyone. Before I just wanted to be remembered. Now,...erm... perhaps I think I by improving our relationship further he will miss me? Urgh I dunno, but you dont understand how hard it is to just STOP. I wanted this to all be over once he left but its all still there, i get reminded of it everyday! Not that thats even necessary its on my mind anyway. OH no i dont mean it in that way - dont worry the things i did for him arent anything illegal etc. He'd never take advantage of me! Very Normal shiz too complicated to explain, but it just served purpose for him to get to know and remember me. I guess im very determined in nature i dont just give up on things or people,... he was so different from anyone i had ever met. Its hard to pretend to everyone i dont care when his names mentioned because they know we were friendly i guess. OK say i did delete him of facebook now whats my explanation going to be......?! I.have.too.much.pride.to.tell.him.the.truth!.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012): Holy smokes *Head in hands*, my brain hurts :/ ! I don't know what else to say :L
I guess you didn't come here for advice because you're attitude is still the same as it was before you posted your story.
Do what you think is right, but everyone who's commented on this post can see you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment by pursuing this.
If you are right and we are wrong, do you think we'd all share the same views on this matter?
You said the end result is more important than the process of this whole situation, I fail to see how having your heart broken when you realize all this has been a pointless waste of time is more of a benefit than accepting this is nothing, and quitting while you're ahead.
Besides, you said yourself you know this won't go anywhere and that he doesn't feel the same about you, so what are you hoping to achieve exactly?
Or is this whole drama because you think he owes you something because of the "Things you did for him"? (Btw I don't know what you mean by that, but I'm not sure I want to know either :/) because I've noticed you keep referring to him as "Abandoning me".
Give me your name and his details and I'll get in touch with him myself and tell him how you feel and also get closure to this once and for all lol (Joke). This is something you need to do for yourself, you could learn a lot from this situation if you just gave yourself the chance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHonestly, i suppose I do want this to last forever because otherwise all my hard work was for nothing and my feelings would of proved to be false; which they arent. I know this is holding me back and thats why i never wanted to add him on facebook, but couldn't say no once he asked me to. I miss him and this was just a way of hanging on. He messaged me, because it is clear he cares though he tries to hide it. Yes I am young and impressionable and in a way i wanted to put an impression on him in the same way because I couldn't bare to be forgotten by him. 'Abandoned' yeah... well in my mind thats the explanation for him not being here. Yes he did move on with his life but that caused me to no longer be apart of it. He told me recently, life moves on im afraid. But he isnt helping mine move on by constantly reminding me of what I once had, loved and lost. HA, tell him the truth?! Never. I cant, Im too scared of losing him forever. If i did, in his mind id go from the top of a mountain down to the bottom on the sewers! In telling him, id basically be saying you have complete control over me and the trust I deserve would probably disappear :( Id rather have friendship. Saying I have 'ulterior motives' makes me sound like a threat! Ive never ever wanted to be that, rather the opposite. Yeah girls in my school fancied him, the ones who liked anyone male and good looking - they never saw his personality. I remember him coming to me hiding from one of them once. He did treat me a little differently from everyone else, but only outside of class... eventually some people noticed and would make comments to me but i was careful.But during lessons i was just another name on a register. Arh problem is i cant really delete him now because he is returning for a visit in a few months, so if i did i wouldn't know what day. :/ How could i EVER begin to explain everything to him?! Which would have to be in person on that day. I have a suspicion his gf might be coming too,... and sadly i want to meet her. He said she knows who i am because he's 'mentioned me before' but apparently in a good way.0.o Of course its going to be really hard for me to see them, Im unsure how im going to react but perhaps it will put me off? Who knows worth a try, nothings worked so far. But its another goodbye, we've been through about 5 already! I dont know if my heart can take a sixth... Id never cried so much than on that last day. My whole body shaking just as we left company, my mind went blank.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHonestly I suppose I want to feel this way forever about him because otherwise all my hard work was put to waste. And my feelings would have been false :( He was my happiness drug and now its like im on cold turkey :L Unfortunately I think that the outcome is more important than the process. He knows some of what I did for him and sometimes I thought he knew my feelings... but he appears oblivious to most things! I agree with you there is no point, ive got myself so attached to someone I knew was going to leave. Normally im very rational, this is the first time ive listened to my head before my heart I just stupidly convinced myself i could change that, I did change his views slightly... i was too nice. Yeah he moved on, believe me he MOVES far too much. HA telling him the truth? Never. I cant, Im too scared his view of me would go from the top of a mountain to the bottom of the sewers! How could i ever begin to EXPLAIN anyway? The whole 'ulterior motives' thing makes me sound like a threat, and i never wanted to be that. And say he has worked out my feelings for him, surely what hes done isnt the way to handle it?! -.- Oh plus hes said he is probably coming back in a month and will come in to visit school, so I will see him one more time. If i delete him now i may not know when that day is. I have a suspicion he may take his gf with him...so then id meet her to. He said once 'ive mentioned you before' but assured me its was 'in a good way'. Im so curious although i know a lot already, I want to meet her... I kinda hope it might put me off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): Well for as long as you're facebook friends with him, you're always going to feel this way about him. You sound like you WANT to feel this way forever about him but why? If you and him will never be together what is the point? All this is going to do is hold you back from meeting new people.
And again that word "ABANDON" has cropped up, he did not abandon you he simply moved on with his life as people generally do.
I think you ought to delete him and if he asks why, tell him the truth. He deserves to know that someone has ulterior motives for keeping his friendship, and he would probably prefer to delete you if he knows you feel this way anyway.
Honestly you're not doing yourself any favors by holding onto something that's not going anywhere.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your'e replies!I can understand how its perceived as an obsession and yeah i agree.Im in ore of where hes come from and what he has done with his life, although some of its quite strange. But I dont want to control him, I love him the way he is. I felt terrible to begin with because i thought i had betrayed everyone's trust; people rely on me too much! This was a distraction, a good one; ive never felt like this about anyone before. When i write down everything id want in a partner, annoyingly it sounds like im describing him. Funny thing is I really disliked him when we first met, I only began liking him when he wasn't teaching! He wasn't an amazing teacher, I only liked the lessons in the end because I was around him. Sorry i highly doubt the feeling will go away in a few days! We have been speaking like this for over a month and ive felt like this for almost 2 years... :/ I know he doesn't fancy me, i have never thought that. I tried to get to know the man outside the classroom because that was the person i liked. We spoke often and at least said hello to each other everyday. A lot of scenarios happened, we got to know each other well, and im his 'definition of trustworthy'. Aha um yeah perhaps 'abandoning' is a little far and i doubt i was considered. Though as my year was leaving (kind of) he said it was time to go. He told me during our goodbye to visit him if ever im nearby! I have no intention of going to that country though. I accept some parts are a bit creepy, however thats a bit hypocritical when he begins the conversations and likes my stuff. I get so close to deleting him sometimes... I cant just stop talking to him because he would talk to me and i cant not reply. Also i will still see his activity all over facebook making me think of him! I cant stop, i miss him so much. As for his girlfriend, i cant go there.
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reader, freelifewonder  +, writes (29 August 2012):
First of all, it is not love. It is just infatuation. Having crushes on teachers at this age is very common. I had crushes on many teachers when I was of your age. You might have been infatuated because, you might be liking the way your teacher teaches or dresses up or values he holds. And regarding Facebook and calls, it's just keeping in touch with one of his good students. So, don't delete him from Facebook or your phone's contact list. Talk to him as a student or as a friend. You will get over this feeling in a few days. And you will laugh thinking of this after a few years :-)
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reader, freelifewonder +, writes (29 August 2012):
First of all, it is not love. It is just infatuation. Having crushes on teachers at this age is very common. I had crushes on many teachers when I was of your age. You might have been infatuated because, you might be liking the way your teacher teaches or dresses up or values he holds. And regarding Facebook and calls, it's just keeping in touch with one of his good students. So, don't delete him from Facebook or your phone's contact list. Talk to him as a student or as a friend. You will get over this feeling in a few days. And you will laugh thinking of this after a few years :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): I hope this is just a one way thing, and doesn't turn into a mutual thing because if it does, he needs reporting and never allowed to work in a school again!
But I can only go on what you've said, and my opinion is that this was a crush you had, that's now turned into an obsession, and needs knocking on the head immediately.
He was your teacher, he had a professional responsibility to teach you kids, and nothing more. He accepted your gifts out of politeness and consideration for your feelings, and that's it.
As for abandoning you, he did no such thing, he simply worked things out with his ex and moved back to be with her, which also meant giving up his job at your school. I doubt he even considered you or any of the other pupils in making this personal decision.
My advice on what to do about his friendship on Facebook, I think its time to let go and move on, it isn't ever going anywhere, and he and his girlfriend already think its beginning to get a little creepy the contact between you two.
I know you said he told you to add him on facebook, but he probably just thought because you came across as a nice pupil, and unlike most, you got along with him as a teacher, he thought there would be no harm in it. It wasn't an invitation for private messaging, and it certainly wasn't an indication he fancies you in return.
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