A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Several years ago my husband/bf said to me he liked to crossdress and at first I was okay with it because I thought it was like some sort of sex game between us until I discovered he started secretly taking some of the clothing to his apartment and ripped one of my sexy tops. When I confronted him about it he lied to me saying it was nothing and that he also hadn't ripped my top either, so as much as this confused me he reassured me it was nothing. I slowly gained his trust back again but but he became secretive again so I wanted to break up the relationship and he panicked and begged me not to and after much talking over time realized it was involving a lot more than just something between him and me. It hurt because I didn't know how to feel even about myself. Didn't know much about crossdressing either or what it was about. We moved into together a few years ago and over the past few years there has been a lot more openness about the subject and have tried to accept what he likes to do. Sometimes I like it when he dresses and other times I was turned off because we also have to deal with another major issue of me being diagnosed with MS a debilitating illness that interferes with regular living and has been a big adjustment and stress in our lives. My son also told me a couple years ago that he was gay but I was totally fine with that and gave him all my support so we have a close relationship. My husband is the best guy I have ever been with and I love him so much. But recently this year after being sick again and just starting to feel better now he wanted to start dressing more and I just was put off by it and asked him not to around me probably because I was trying to get back to feeling healthier again and then he started withdrawing a little but acting like everything was OK until I discovered some of his email conversations with his brother a couple of weeks ago that really upset me like he hated being a home and I took all his fun away and made me feel like I am burden in his life. To sum it up, trust was broken between both of us and not sure how to get this back. We told each other that we will be open and honest and say how we feel and I told him I love him more than anything and that I want to be apart of who he is and for him to express himself as he really is... I have read up on the crossdressing and asked lots of questions but had some issues dealing with it myself. I just have extreme doubt and worry that he will start hiding things again and not open up to me in the future. Am I Paranoid? Should I take his word that he truly loves me as much as I love him? How does this affect our future with my MS illness? Please help!!
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (20 October 2009):
 Hi there, You've both had so much to deal with lately that i think you're doing a great job in handling everything as well as you have.
I think the least he could have done was fess up about the top and took you shopping for a new one, lol. He was probably panicking and everything went down hill from there.
You need to talk to each other in a non confrontational way. Its tragic you've got MS but you are still the person he married and you are just going through a bad time right now. Thats life unfortunalely.
He was probably just sounding off to his brother cos he's scared about the future and whats going to happen. I'm sure he loves you loads but they'll be some wobbly times now while things stabilise again.
I personally don't think cross dressing is a big deal but i know women who think its disgusting. Its up to you.
Communication is the key!! good luck x
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