A
female
age
36-40,
*mpop
writes:So, one of my male friends keeps asking me for hugs. He does this even at weird times (like, not hellos and goodbyes) and hangs on for too long or tries to sneak a second one in. I'm always hesitant about giving a hug, and I've already had the "when you touch me too much, it makes me feel weird" conversation, which is why he usually asks now.I feel bad telling him "I never want you to touch me, ever," but it's sort of the truth because even slight physical contact with him makes my skin crawl. Should I just stop hanging out with him? Should I have another conversation with him? I basically never want to hang out with him now because I feel creepy, but even if I talk to him about it, I still feel like he's going to "forget" when he gets a little drunk or something. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): You American girls are always worried about creepy guys. Creepy this, creepy that.... Bla Bla Bla.
Give us creepy guys a break. We need to have sex too. And if we can't get it the regular way (not easy for us creepies to do most of the time) then damn it, we just have to go about it another way: Rub up against you "accidentally" or stare at your delicious young boobies or something totally creepy like that.
Get off our backs. We deserve respect just like any other group now clamoring for equal rights and protection from discrimination.
If this guy is your friend as you say, and I suppose you are young and hot... perhaps instead of rebuking him or rejecting him you could help him out a bit. Tell him that you are not interested in him sexually or romantically. Make certain he understands. Tell him you want to just help him out and let him hug you nicely until he gets a chance to "finish." When he's done, off he goes to clean up, and very thankfully I might add, to have such a good, good friend like you.
Try to be a bit more understanding of his "needs."
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (20 November 2009):
Well the main reason he will keep asking for them is because you keep saying yes.
You need to start saying "No, stop pestering me!"
Let him know it is pissing you off.
To be honest he does sound like a bit of a perv. What is the rest of your friendship like? It is fairly good, or does he flirt and stare and be strange in other ways?
To be honest I would snap at him a couple of times and if he keeps trying to get physical contact then stop hanging out.
Male friends can be a lot of hasstle and a lot of the time it's just not worth it when there are so many others out there.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (20 November 2009):
 He should really know his place if you've told him that it makes you uncomfortable but if he persists you should talk to him again.
Not hanging out with him is a bit harsh and if I were you I wouldn't unless he just won't listen. After that if he apologises or wants to be friends again, only give him 1 more chance. It's important that friends respect you and don't do things you aren't happy with.
good luck
xx
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