A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, im in such a bad place at the momenti fell out with one of the girls due to this all the girls arent talking to me, i am single so now have no oneday in day out in stick in my house doing nothing, theres no clubs or anything around my area and i only work two days a week ( i am looking for a new job) please could some1 help me cheer up of sugest anything to make mmyself feel better please? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2013): You're clearly emotionally dependent on others, for you to settle for these fickle, callous, immature girls as your friends... What are they, 14? Picking sides at your age?? One word BIT**ES. Ganging up against you? No wonder you feel so upset... What do you LIKE doing? What are you interested in persuing as a hobby? The thing is if If you're not happy in yourself with your life, and relying on others because of it, you're trying to fill a void in your life with junk... I.e settling with bad characters like these girls... And nasty people are a big blow for unfulfilled people- they'll bring you down for their own satisfaction . You need to develop your own resources in order to be happy. Don't be scared to fail at something, if you're interested in it try it! Are you sporty? Arty? Logical? Play to your strengths, as they're often the things we love doing because we have a natural affinity for it! What were you best at at school? I have depression and often find it very hard to motivate myself to dp anything remtotely challenging... but i started sewing, as a complete beginner, as ive alwaus been quite arty... now i can alter almost anything and make my own clothes/ bags... I also took up cycling- this is the best exercise I've read for depression- gets you fit, save so much money, a Great, exhilarating means of transport... And great cardio! :) I would start with taking up a new type of exercise- it really does all sorts of wonders for your whole body, including the mind! It sounds to me as if you're at a very low point in your life, and I would suggest go to the doctors, see if you can get some counselling, because there's clearly a void in your life and you're very unfulfilled... Def go if it worsens because you (if aren't already) heading into a depression. And there IS medication out there that doesn't fully solve the problem , but puts you in a better state of mind in order for you to move forward... Everything you channel mental energy into will become a big influence on your life, good or bad. Get out there Hun, and take care of yourself, and others :) xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2013): It's really hard not having your friends around you. I had a similar thing happen to me and you don't know what to do at all I understand completely! Like the answer said before focus all your efforts on getting a full time job you think you'll enjoy, it takes time but just work hard and you'll get there. Try and focus on hobbies and exercise to keep you feeling active and busy - exercise is guaranteed to make you feel happier if you're lonely or feeling sad too.Another quick hobby and great way to make money is to find something you're good at - baking, making sweet/alcohol hampers, customising clothes or even just going into old charity and vintage shops and selling stuff online! Again it will keep you busy while you look for a job and maybe earn you some pennies!I don't know if you know anyone else in your hometown but when I was in the same situation I got in touch with a couple of old friends who I hadn't seen properly since school and ended up spending more time with them. I was also lucky to meet a boy who I'm now in a relationship with which keeps me from feeling lonely. It took me a year and a half of applying for jobs and I have only just managed it so I know how hard it can be. I know this may not make you feel great now but it will happen for you if you want it to - keep confident when meeting new people and you will make new friends. If you keep applying for jobs you will get one and have the freedom to do more when you're earning money.And if you're feeling rubbish right now, think of small things you can do to feel better. Think of what you want to be doing in a year, or five years and write down a plan of what you're going to do to get there - honestly it sounds silly but it will clear your mind.Take the time to pamper yourself, or curl up with your favourite food and feel-good movie to enjoy the time you have to yourself. Just take pleasure in the small things you do and eventually the big changes will come!I'm so sorry to hear about your friends, it sounds like you didn't need them anyway, keep smiling and make it happen for yourself!
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A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (23 August 2013):
 I would think back on the last time I was happy, what was I doing? Make a list of things you enjoy doing and try to at least do one of those per day. Listen to music, that usually puts you in a better mood! Sing along! Force yourself to go outside, jog, go shopping, go to the grocery store, learn to bake, watch all the movies you've been wanting to watch but never had the time. Yes, and getting a job and keeping busy will also help! Best of luck! Keep posting here about how you feel, or maybe help answer some questions :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2013): Honey only You could do that.
We may have all the money in the world to go and see a psychiatrist or a therapist but if your not willing to change how you think, you will still feel empty.
Be creative. what are your interest? you don't have to reply.
Just think about things that motivates you.
make yourself busy on it.
You don't have a job. why not get serious getting a new job.
If i were in your shoe, I will not stop until i get a job.
I am a material girl. Job to me means money
if I have money, I can do anything I want.
Travel alone out of the country, shopping, etc.
So, think about being productive. how to be productive.
When you do, it will help you to have a better goal in life.
being financially independent is the best thing of all time.
it will help you feel better. it doesn't matter if your a lunch lady or a ceo. what matter's the most is that you have a job and your earning money.
Get a job, the soonest possible, it will make you feel better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2013): Well if it makes you feel better i just spent the evening being screamed at in my own home by an aunt who is supposed to be family, who is blaming me for coming between her and her nephew. Truth is I didn't even say anything to her or about her, he was the one who originally had a go at her .... yet I'm being blamed. Spent the night being swore at in my own home, even had the police threatened at me. I'm so livid and almost launched for her, she decided to raise her voice so high with swear words that the whole neighbourhood could hear too.....And I went 4 years without not knowing anyone around here but now I'm slowly making friends due to work, don't give up , work is a great place to meet people so fingers crossed that you get a new job :)Please try to be happy in your own company. Family and friends aren't all what they are cut out to be , I've learnt that over the years and I'm only 21. I've learnt that sometimes you are better off on your own . I also have alot of online friends /penpals who I chat to and get along with great. Don't lose hope !!!!
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