A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Do teenage lads get crushes on middle aged female authority figures?This is a bizarre situation and you can rest assured nothing will be acted upon - but as a female tutor in her late 40s I work with young men of teenage years aged about 16 or 17. Most are quiet and shy and have nothing to say apart from a shrug and a nod. One lad however is very forward, talkative and inquisitive. He asks questions about where I live and should you ever ask a woman her age etc..,so he seems a bit naive and also has no sense of personal space as he stands quite close when you talk to him. I never know if he is being genuinely friendly or may have a slight crush on me - but I am no spring chicken and although I look ok for my age, I still probably appear much older to him. These men are very young to me and I still see young men as half innocent lads, who would probably have crushes on younger women - but am I reading into this too deeply? Should I be concerned??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2019): He is being silly and stupid. Just laugh it off and tell him he should ask such questions from his mum and dad.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (14 April 2019):
 Absolutely he could have a crush on you. Teenage boys often have fantasies about being with an "older" woman. Watch the situation carefully and never let yourself get into a compromising situation with any of the young males. You are being smart stay that way.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (14 April 2019):
 I think, given your job, you need to be very careful with this one. Not sure you need to be "concerned" if YOU can keep control of this situation. Just because he is male and you are female does not make it any different to a young teenage girl crushing on an older male teacher. If he truly IS crushing, of course. It could just be him practicing his social skills (i.e. chat up lines) in what he considers a "safe" environment. It could be some sort of bet with his mates that he can get to you. Whatever is going on here, you already know you need to keep your distance.
I still remember some of the young teenage lads in my class as school betting each other they could get a snog off one of the more attractive female teachers. Luckily she was a very astute lady and kept herself very safe from any accusations of any misconduct, even down to getting some of us girls "on side" so that she was never left alone with any of the lads in question.
In your shoes I would laugh off any questions and turn them into jokes. Tell him, when he is mature enough, he will know the answers to his questions himself. Avoid being alone with him so there can be no "misunderstandings" between you. If he stands too close, simply move away. He will soon get the message.
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