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writes:I know curiosity killed the cat however, I need to know if I am the only one that thinks my ex is nuts. To recap several yrs. my ex was in an abusive marriage for 14 yrs- the abuse was on both ends, she leaves him for another man and then he hooks up with me, life is good with us and he asks me to marry him. He gives me an engagement ring but, we never set a date or make plans to marry. We are together for 4 yrs. when he hooks up with a married woman and dumps me blaming me for the break up. That relationship ends 2 mths later when she decides to leave her husband for another man, not him. He then begs me back telling me how much he loves me and what a horrible mistake he had made. Like the fool that I was I took him back and this time we actually set the date to be married- life is good for the next to yrs when out of the blue he dumps me again one mth before we are planning to be married for another woman. They become engaged 2 mths into their relationship and then before the yr is up she dumps him because she realizes he is not the man for her. Two mths after that he hooks up with another woman and this time marries her a mth later claiming she is the love of his life. Within a few mths of their marriage this woman is diagnosed with an aggressive type of lung cancer and she passes away a few mths later. Not even 2 mths later he gets involved with someone else and immediately moves her into his home claiming that she too, is the love of his life. Is he crazy or what- can this person who has professed his undying love to all of us at one time or another really know what the true meaning of love is? Please, don't tell me to get over it or that I shouldn't be messing in his business-wanting him back or still not able to move on is not what this is about! I'm just curious if anyone out there thinks like I do that this guy has some major issues or is this common behavior now a days?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2015): He has issues but don't we all? For example you took him back after he jilted you for another woman, blamed you for the break up, and only came crawling back when SHE left him. Arguably taking him back wasn't the wisest choice ever. My point is, we all have issues about one thing or another. His just have wider ramifications than most.
Pity him but don't waste energy trying to 'understand' him. What do you gain?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 August 2015):
 I think mystiquek nailed it.
I think he is afraid of being alone. Growing old alone. He can sustain "great passion" for someone, but only for a short time - then he decides that HE can find better.
Maybe he had a very domineering mother? Or a mother who told him NO girl is ever going to "good" enough for him. So he jumps ship the MOMENT he sees "greener grass".
He probably can't wrap his mind around that ONE woman would WANT to be with him long term, so he keeps jumping ship to keep it "fresh".
I feel sorry for him. He is chasing rainbows and forgetting to live in the now. However, I would touch a man like that with a 500 foot pole.
I don't think the behavior is at all "normal".
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (11 August 2015):
 I don't know if this is going to make you feel better but I'll share this. My 1st ex-husband is 53 and has been married 5 times. I find this absolutely appalling. I don't think he knows what love is but he is terrified of being alone. We were married for 2 years, he got another girl pregnant, we divorced, he was married to her for about 10 years, cheated on her the whole time, divorced her, married a woman he barely knew for a few months, divorced, married a girl for about 2 years, divorced her because he got the 5th one pregnant. 5 wives, 3 kids all from different moms. He cheated on every wife.
This man is not good looking by any means, doesn't have a house, a nice car or even money. He can be very charming..and funny but he is short, fat and bald with bad teeth and very thick glasses. But somehow, he manages to get all these women to marry him. I have yet to figure it out.
I had a heart to heart with him about 2 years and he admitted that he is absolutely terrified of being alone. He can't deal with it at all. He goes from one woman to the next and usually has one always lined up in waiting. Its like he just jumps from one bed to another. I find it absolutely disgusting.
This man you are describing sounds just the same. His name doesn't happen to be Greg does it??? LOL
I'm not sure if they are crazy but they sure have a problem! I don't think its normal behavior. I have know my ex for almost 34 years and still don't understand so do yourself a favor and don't try. He's kind of weird. I used to ask my ex if he was trying to beat out Liz Taylor's wedding/divorce record!
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 August 2015):
 Wow...I feel like I need a pen and paper to keep a track of the number of affairs he had and all the moving in and out because I've lost count already!
This isn't normal OP; he defines love as a passionate force greater than himself which he gives in to and cant resist and that is why he has a string of affairs behind him. He doesnt even allow for the dust to settle before he's already in love with someone else! He cant be with one person, he constantly needs the drama in his life and seems to be someone who likes getting kicked around. He's not happy UNLESS there is drama and he's kept on his toes. Things with you were probably too mellow for him.
He was in an abusive marriage for 14 years yet he never left, it was his ex wife who left him for someone else. Just goes to show the kind of person that he is.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 August 2015):
 He believes true love means emotional intensity and drama. He thinks a comfortable relationship is boring. He only feels alive when he can provoke people or be provoked. That's why his longest relationship ever was in an abusive one. He can't ever get used to normal relationships so that's also why none of them worked out with you and other women. If you want to know why he's like that, it could be genetics or how his childbirth and childhood went, or how his parents's relationship went. There are people who came from war torn countries to seek a better life in North America and find themselves restless and hard to stay calm. Some people only feel drama to be the way of life and can't imagine any other way.
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