A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Have I imagined signs of attraction towards me from him?I was curious to know why some signals from someone can be mixed. When me and him are alone, the conversation flows, there's a lot of long glances and smiles. It's almost like the world stops for a moment when we speak to each other. I think there was an "unspoken chemistry". But at other times, he seems distant, especially when others are around him. He won't even make eye contact with me when addressing me when others who are close to him are around. He even bolted in a very obvious way once when I was with someone else. Recently I emailed him for something platonic, and he answered straight to the point. Then at other times he will be back to his real self.Could this be sexual tension of some sort? What is going on? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): I've seen similar posts like this one dozens of times. People wondering how to handle mixed signals. They may not be that mixed. They just may not be exactly what you want them to be.There are people who are moody; and have "hot and cold" personalities. They are your best friend and confidant one moment, and they act like you just landed in an alien spacecraft the next. The best way to handle these people is not to take them seriously. "Feed them with a long handled spoon!" As my grandmother used to say. Give them wiggle-room. They get antsy when they feel like they're being cornered. There are guys who just like to be the pursuer. They don't like women attaching themselves, before he is sure he likes you that much. He'll cold-shoulder to prove that point.Accept them with a grain of salt, and don't attach your feelings to them. Talk is just talk. It doesn't always involve feelings. Learn that. People can be friendly and flirty, and have no other intentions. Straight men can actually carry on an intriguing conversation with a woman with absolutely no romantic interest whatsoever. Can you believe that?The only chemistry going on, may only be in your head.Women often take the friendliness for romantic interest. It isn't. It's a man relating to a woman in a friendly way. You have to learn how to be "just-friends" with the opposite sex. They seem distant because they don't want you to look like you're an item. He doesn't want available women to presume he's off the market. He doesn't want you to start defining your connection with him as anything more than friendly.Unless he asks you out on a date and makes romantic gestures; he thinks you're an attractive and interesting woman, and likes your company.I expect other women to tell you to go for it. Well, he'll let you know if you're ahead of the game; by running the other way.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): Oh there could be many answers to this question. From - maybe he's not ready for a relationship but he does like you? To - maybe he's shy and too afraid to make a move? Or maybe he fancies you but doesn't like you like that?
Whatever the answer is, the only way you are gonna find out is to ask him or make a move. What's the worst that could happen?
He could reject you, oh well life goes on, wev'e all been there. Just laugh it off.
It sounds like he has some sort of attraction to you, so maybe you already have your leg in the door.
Just go for it!!!!
...............................
|
