A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiLet me start by saying I'm happily married. We've been together for over 11 years. My husband is the best man on Earth and the best thing that ever happend to me. We work hard, both travel a lot, made good careers and have had no time for kids... yet.Now to the situation at hand. There is a man in my team, whom I respect very much, admire even. His independent no-nonsense confident approach, professionalism, bright inquisitive mind and positive attitude are among the qualities I respect most in a man. He is not attractive, not my type at all. I wouldn't have noticed him in a crowd. We've worked very well together for over a year and I've always praised him openly with no back thoughts or hidden agenda. ...And then one day I wake up in the morning and remember my dream, where this man was amazingly supportive and tender. And from then on my eyes open and I develop a crush(?) or some sort of unprofessional feelings for him. I'm not even sure it's a crush: I want to be his best friend, I want to be liked and admired by him, I want to have his children, I want to sit by his side and read a book, I want to have this feeling of support and tenderness from my dream repeated in real life... Not only is this whole thing inappropriate and unethical - I'm married, he is my direct report (although he is a few years older than me), he is married and loves his kids, - but he can't even compare with my husband on so many accounts... I don't even know if he likes me; sometimes I think he tries to avoid me. Yet, I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I lose composure when he is around. I'm always first to look away - being worried our eye contact lasts too long to remain professional... Is this a crush? Should I just let it pass? Should I look for another job? Or should I start getting worried about my marriage - something may be missing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are both right. Good points. Thanks for reminding me to focus on my work and stop worrying...
A
female
reader, penguin64 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 your worrying too much. and seem like your wanting someone to tell you its ok. it is ok to have a crush! as long as it doesnt go any further. my mum used to facy my little sisters primary school head master! god knows why! he isnt even good looking and she knows it. but it was quite funny even she laughed about it. and it just passed.
at least it will make work more intresting. dont let it go too far though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): My husband is the best man on earth, but I am bored, and there is this guy at work that really fascinates me. Oh, I know he loves his wife and children but somehow I cannot resist him. I am drawn to him like a moth to a candle. Vow, does that sound like problem!STOP, STOP, you are setting yourself up to get hurt big time. Concentrate on your work. Think of this guy as the husband of another woman, as the father of somebody else"s children and then it will be easy to FOCUS on work and not allow your mind to run away with you.Good Luck.
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