A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is difficult for me to write, as it is deeply personal. When I was a boy, my parents were on the verge of divorce and I had just turned 10. My father constantly traveled for his work, and his absence and constant fighting when he was home drove them apart.Eventually my mother fell for another man who later became my stepfather.(If you don't cringe after the following, you may be dead.) One night we stayed at his house and I had no idea, later that night, I SAW my mother having sex with her new lover. It has always been a painful memory amongst others that year of my life. In addition to that horrible experience, I was largely tormented in school by both males and females. The pursuit of romance and dating which I largely avoided either out of fear or being numb to the whole idea when out in public and it persists today. Yet, when I get home the loneliness kicks in and wonder why I didn't talk to this girl or that girl. Its a vicious cycle that needs to stop.Upon my research I show some symptoms of PTSD; should I seek professional help and from what kind of therapist?Could such a traumatic experience be really be responsible for being largely afraid of starting a relationship? Have any children of divorce often have this same reaction?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): If you havent been able to deal with what you saw very well. Then talking to a counsellor might help you. Sometimes children do catch out parents making love, either with each other or 'lovers'. Its not unheard of but i think your paretns break up and the bullying you experienced at school have a bigger part to play in how you feel. I would suggest some counselling as i think it will help you to overcome all the things you had to go through. Bullying is terrible. It can leave you with little confidence, a huge fear of rejection, anger and little faith in others. I would suggest you try counselling for that more than anything else. All the best x
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (28 April 2011):
 I highly doubt you've got PTSD, but any GP can point you in the right direction should you feel you need professional help.
Honest opinion from what you've written... you're trying to justify and rationalize to yourself why you are the way that you are. You say that this vicious cycle has to end and that cycle isn't going to end if you blame something/somebody for your shortcomings.
Maybe I'm way off and I'm sorry for being blunt, but if you are looking to absolve yourself of responsibility for not talking to a girl or not trying something new because it scares you... That's not only a garbage excuse, but its time that could be spent summoning the courage to do something scary and then just doing it. That's how you can break this vicious cycle in my opinion.
Again, if you're really concerned, see your doctor just in case.
Good luck :)
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