A
male
age
30-35,
*raddee
writes:My boyfriend of 2.5 years dumped me on my birthday. We had a 3 hour long conversation because he was feeling depressed am I wanted to help him. In the end he called me a doormat and he said I let him walk all over me. He thinks it's my pride/values draining away and that disheartens him. He's always been telling me I'm too good for him and should find another guy, but when we were on a break for a month and I had a date, he came crawling back and I cancelled that date to be with him again.He's worried his youth is wasting away and he hasn't experienced enough, he's worried because we were so serious that we'd end up settling down together. So he forced me to insult him and I said some hurtful things. He was happy. Then he let me go because I was mad and said "look if you really wanted me to get lost, just say it because you've said much more hurtful things to me over the years"I showered him with love because he never did that to me. I would send him a message every day just to keep him company (he has no friends) all I wanted was simple telephone call or I love you, or how was your day? Without me having to send the first message. I was scared if I didn't he'd forget about me. I have voiced my concerns to him I told him to shape up and stop hurting me or I'm leaving forever. Why doesn't he like my affection, I'm not really a pushover, I've always told him in the past what I disliked him doing. The final thing I said to him was "you're the only person who can repair what we had, it's all up to you now, I've done too much work"I really want him back though, I know there are plenty of fish in the sea but he's mine! how do I get him back?
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male
reader, Graddee +, writes (28 April 2011):
Graddee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's 16, now I've just turned 17. He told me I was a pushover so he kept pestering me to tell him my nasty thoughts of him, the way he was speaking made it sound like he was going to break up with me, so I panicked and told him what his flaws in a nasty way. He said he was proud of me. He told me he wanted me to hurt him and make him feel jealous. He has bad depression and very strong reasons to be depressed.I feel horrible that we're not together, I think the stress caused my nose bleed and I fainted in a shopping mall today, I felt really light headed and tired. My hearts been beating very fast. It's just so embarrassing that I fainted.He just told me 10 minutes ago he needs time to sort thing out in his head, last time he said that, it took 3 months to see him again, that was when I was about to go on a date with another boy and he got jealous so he said he wanted me back. I need him because I'm a state at the moment, my Birthday has been terrible...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): Sounds like he didn't care enough in the first place, and took you for granted. It's mean to dump someone on their birthday. I'm not sure what you mean by "he forced you to insult him"--do you mean he provoked you? Or does he really like people insulting him (some weird fetish)? Also, how old is he? If he is around your age it's certainly too young to worry about "youth wasting away" (stop being so dramatic...), and it's also too young to know you've met "the one" for life.
Let him go--the way he's been behaving, he is not worth getting back. If he does some reflecting and realizes he didn't appreciate you and wants to come back later, observe him to see if he has really matured and learned to appreciate you. But don't wait around for that to happen. Live your own life.
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