A
male
age
30-35,
*revor12345
writes:I am 22 years of age, relatively fit and healthy. From an early age I was interested in girls and have had several serious girlfriends with a really healthy sex life. I broke up with my last girlfriend three years ago and it took me a while to get over her. I always used to watch porn and get excited but recently i have not been able to sustain an erection and it takes a while for me to get hard. I have also not been able to perform whilst with several girls. I am not sure whether i am gay or not, all i can think about is are you gay aren't you constantly asking myself this question monotonously in my mind. I have tried watching gay porn to try and resolve the issue but i don't really get any more success than with straight porn. I am definitely attracted to women and would love to be able to have sex properly, i regularly find myself checking out women. I get really nervous around males now though because all i can think about is are you gay? I used to get erections whilst watching porn but i now have to work really hard to get one. Iv noticed blood rushing to my penis whilst getting with girls but never to full erection. I'm really stressed out about this and have tried to take my own life already. Because of my constant questioning iv curiously thought about men, and i can appreciate a good looking dude, but im not as entranced by men as i am by women. But i can't get rid of this niggling thoughts, i would like some advice about whether you think im gay because i really am at the end of my tether! Much appreciated!
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male
reader, Corkster +, writes (11 April 2012):
Hey mate am gay. And it doesn't sound like your gay especially if u can't get hard over gay porn. I think u need to find yourself a good girlfriend and to know her.mybe your feeling like this cus u haven't had a girlfriend in a while so i think u should go and talk to girl more.and less worrying about being gay. Xx =)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 you KNOW when you are gay...
you would feel about men the way you feel about women...
I think you need to see a doctor and get a full workup and figure out if it's medical
do you drink and smoke? both of those seriously contribute to erection problems.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Hi. Having erectile disfunction doesnt mean you are gay. It might be a good idea to have a check up and find out if there is a medical reason for whats happening. General rule of thumb is..if you can wake up with an erection in the mornings then its a psychological problem. But if you dont get erections, even when you arent thinking about it, such as first thing in the morning, then there could be a medical explanation. Trust me, many younger men suffer episodes of E.D. It isnt as uncommon as you might think. So try not to panic about this. Dwelling on gay thoughts is TRAINING your brain to think of men in a sexual context. So now you have become ultra sensitive around men, this is understandable as you have inadvertently conditioned yourself to view them sexually. But again, that does not mean you are gay. Watching gay porn doesnt mean you are gay either. Sometimes straight men watch it because they have very low self esteem and feel they lack the virility, sexual confidence and prowess they see portrayed by male porn actors. They watch the men from a stance of envy. In many ways watching football is no different but the end result is a goal instead of an orgasm.I`d go to your doctor and ask for a check up. If the doctor cant find anything wrong. Maybe you might need some counselling. You say you were OK up until the break up of your relationship 3 years ago. Then followed a rough time coming to terms with the break up, then you started suffering E.D, then you convinced yourself you must be gay, then you ended up trying to take your life..that sounds like depression to me. Depression can cause E.D. I would start with your doctor first, have a good chat with him and see whats going on. If he gives you a clean bill of health, go to a counsellor. Explore your break up and try to remember if anything was said to you by your ex about acting gay, being gay ect. Something has triggered this obsession. You will find your answers and solve this problem if you take control of the situation. The first step is making a doctors appointment.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Alright, i'm going to tell you a way to find out if you're gay or not.
Do any desire to have sex with guys? If you answered no, congrats no matter what kind of porn you look at you're not gay.
Honestly, chances are it's the porn that's the issue. try quitting for a while, see how it works out for you.
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A
female
reader, LovelyLemon +, writes (28 March 2012):
 I don't think you're gay. Maybe bi, or just curious. It sounds like you have some sort of performance anxiety, even by yourself. You're stressing over your sexual orientation instead of just relaxing and enjoying being a sexual being. It doesn't matter what turns you on, but you have to LET yourself get turned on and not worry about it! Usually when young men have trouble staying erect, it's because of a psychological block. Try just relaxing and taking some deep breaths, don't think about if you're gay or not. Maybe even try letting your own mind direct your fantasy instead of watching porn, then maybe you will gain some clarity.
Much love and Best wishes
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