A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When I was 15 I was in a relationship with an 18 year old boy (I'll call him "J"), he was my first in every way and we were great friends as well as a couple. My parents were great friends with J's older brother and sister-in-law but my dad was not happy about me being in a relationship with "J" as he had a bad reputation and didn't think he was good enough for me so me and Jay had to see each other in secret. My dad was right about his reputation, J did used to be heavily into drugs and did still hang around with a bad crowd but with me he was a perfect boyfriend and he started changing his ways to try and make things better. My mum was happy for us as even though he did have his faults she thought me and Jay were good for each other and she knew about us being together. This however made my mum and dad's relationship very strained and so I ended it with Jay for the sake of them as a couple. Because it was so hard saying goodbye to J I cut him off from my life completely and the only time I saw him was when I was visiting his brother and sister-in-law with my parents.J got back into drugs and things after we finished and I felt completely to blame but still we never spoke.It's been nearly 6 years since we split up, I'm 21 and J is 25 this year. Recently his brother and sister-in-law had their first baby so as he was going to visit them and the new baby I sent him a message to pass on my love etc and we got chatting. He's turned his life around, got a good job, good friends etc but I think he may still be on lighter drugs which I am totally against. He seems like the boy I fell in love with and we are getting on again. I can't stop thinking about him but is this just because we are getting on or could it be second time better/the right time. I'm so confused!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Usually I'd say no but ahh, I think you should give him another chance. You have to talk to him about it, simple as, explain your feelings and see if he feels the same way.I am totally against drugs so he should really get off those if he wants to be with you.Have you felt like this towards any other guy/or relationship you've been in? If not, then talk to him. Reconcile what you both had and hopefully it'll turn out for the best. That's what my romantic side is telling me.But my cynical side is saying maybe because he was your first love you have a soft sport for him there but nothing more? But forget the cynical side sweetie, if you want to try again, you do that.I hope it all works out for you.Much love izi
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