A
male
age
30-35,
*ndre6589
writes:**please excuse my lack of the use of punctuation**i have a problem.My name's not important and i'm 17. I started working at this ice cream shop the summer before my senior year of highschool. i liked it a lot and met this girl named something irrelevant. she's 20 now. but anyways, at first i thought she was pretty cool, i enjoyed working with her. so we started texting and stuff and i started liking her. and its weird because when i like a girl, i know it rite away. i've never had to build up to liking someone before her. so i would buy her little gifts here and there, nothing too convincing or anything, just things friends would get friends. and then eventually i decided to ask her out on a date. i told one of my coworkers and he took it upon his self to see if she liked me or not. and it turns out she didnt. she thought of me as a little brother or something.. i was crushed!so i never asked her out... i've found that im one of those people that jumps at the word LOVE too easily. and i thought i loved her. a week or so later, i was texting her and told her that i was depressed. she asked why and i told her she broke my heart. we ended up arguing about how i dont even know her and a bunch of other stuff... we eventually settled on just being friends.. so i continued on with the gifts and stuff, just because i do that for lots of people.. i'm too nice :/ .. anyways, so we became pretty good friends. i never got over her and would always throw out hints.. she caught them. so then december came, and her birthday was in that month. i made her a book titled 'twenty things i love about you' .. the last few pages said something like "im so in love with you" .. but that was also a fail.. i accepted the fact that she didnt feel the same way. and we grew really close.she got a boyfriend around march. they went for about a month or so and eventually he broke up with her. i was the crying shoulder for her, and the one to encourage her that she's the best. well we're best friends now, and about a month ago, i realized how in love with her i really am. its honestly different this time. i've changed and grown up and opened my eyes to so much... however, im still convinced that she doesnt feel the same way. i tell her i love her all the time, she says it back. she tells me that she misses me when she hasnt seen me in a day or so.. but those are things that girls say to their best friends.. and she talks about her ex and stuff and it pains me everytime i have to hear about her missing him and such.. i dont quite know what to do... i dont want to tell her and make her think im super obsessive or something.. and i doubt that she feels the same way.. i know she cares for me a lot, but i just dont think she loves me like that.. (how many different ways did i just say that? lol) and my love for her has kept me from having a relationship with anyone else.. i suppose my question is could she love me like i love her? what do i do?
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male
reader, andre6589 +, writes (30 June 2008):
andre6589 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell getting a new job is out of the question.. and i dont wanna stop seeing her.. as unhealthy as it may be, i think im just gonna keep goin the way ive been goin.. im just too in love with who she is to isolate myself from her
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): The only way to stop feeling in love with someone is to STOP seeing them every day. I have heard it takes a minimum of three weeks to get over the withdrawal symptoms of infatuation.
In any case, why not see if you can get away for a month or two? Go to some place that will be interesting for you, and have lots of eligible girls to meet (perhaps a new job?) If you can manage this, it will help you stop feeding your obsession and it will stop hurting you.
The gap between 17 and 20 is still pretty big, in terms of maturity and experience. Try to live your life, learn and become wise, and someday when you're 23 and she's 26, who knows what might happen?
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A
male
reader, andre6589 +, writes (28 June 2008):
andre6589 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhow can i get over her? i'm not sure i want to get over her.. how can i subside my feelings when i see her nearly everyday? i'm not sure im looking for help so much as comfort and insight from somebody in the same situation..
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A
female
reader, Nocam +, writes (25 June 2008):
Wow! Your around the same age as me and already in love! Well, I hate to say this but I don't think she loves you nearly as much as you love her. Your in the same situation as one of my guy friends and the circumstances are so similar that its scary. LOL. I think the best thing for you would be to try to move on. It might take a while for you to get over her completely but you would probably be glad you did because that way, you could find someone who likes you like that. Just remember the saying: Time heals all wounds.
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