A
male
age
30-35,
*ev11
writes:There is this girl that I have been in love with since Kindergarten but I don't think she feels the same way. We've known each other forever and I think she just wants to be friends. Or at least never thought of me that way. She is a bit shy and that may have something to do with it. Please help me, I have no clue whatsoever what I should do. What should I do?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (16 April 2012):
Hi. Well that ought to make it even easier for you as you are already talking to each other.
As you have known each other for most of your lives now, it's a case of making the transition to something more than friendship.
If you and her usually hang out in a group, well then the first thing you are going to have to do, is to ask her quietly if you could speak to her just the two of you, and that you wanted to ask her something.
Then when it's just the two of you, you can say what's on your mind.
It's possible that she feels the same way, but doesn't know how to go about it. You never know.
As a friend, do you know where she lives?
Perhaps you could call around there and ask her parents if you could talk to her. Well, you are good friends after all now, aren't you? It's not like you are complete strangers to each other.
And if you do decide to call around to her house, and she comes to the door, you could go for a walk together down the street and talk while you walk.
In fact going to her house, might be even better than separating her from the group at school - which might set tongues wagging. You don't want others to know what's happening.
It's between you and her only.
And suppose you do go and see her at her house and she goes for a walk with you, well then you can express your interest in her and say quite open and honestly, about exactly how you feel about her and how you have felt that way since kindergarten.
It's really the most direct approach, believe me.
In fact it's probably the only way to do it really.
Then you will clear the path for her to be open and honest with you also.
See how the talking goes and take it from there.
Don't bring up romance and being in love with her as soon as she comes to the door and you go walking together.
Just start walking slowly and ask her about what she's been up to, and take it slowly and get to know her more closely, and when the time is right - and she will be wondering why you are there, of course - then you mention you would like to go out with her on a date, and tell her you like her more than just as a friend. So then she knows.
And see what her reaction is.
At least then you will know if she is interested or not.
The reason you are a bit scared to do this, is because you don't know how she feels about you or what her reaction will be.
The greatest fear, is fear of the unknown.
Just go ahead and take that leap of faith.
What have you got to lose?
Be brave and just do it. You can do it and it's worth your while to know, once and for all.
A
male
reader, Dev11 +, writes (15 April 2012):
Dev11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks but the thing is, she is one of my best friends
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (13 April 2012):
Hi there.
Well for a start, you at least must start saying hello to her.
When you see each other, smile and say hi or hello, and after a couple of weeks of this, you might be able to strike up a conversation with her.
Do you see each other much now?
Are you still in school?
If you are both still in school, well that provides a few chances throughout each day to run into each other.
And once you do start talking to her, why not ask her out to see a movie with you - and let her choose what to see.
Then go from there.
If she says "Yes" to you, well then you have a good chance of going out and for it to develop into something more.
Now as to subject matter, leading up to asking her out.
Talk about what interests you, books, movies, tv shows, music, hobbies - in fact anything at all.
Ask her these things, rather than just do all the talking yourself. That way, she knows you are genuinely interested in her as a person. And that's flattering to her.
When you first begin talking - after saying hi for a few days or so - you could then add to that, with something like - "Hi. How's your day been so far?"
It's an open question that requires a detailed answer, rather than just a yes or a no.
This is what gets conversation started.
The main thing is to just be yourself and relax. Don't pretend to be someone who you are not. That is false, and she won't like it at all.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 You have to be really brave and ask her if she would like your friendship to be more. Once you've asked and gained an answer you wont have to wonder and torture yourself anymore. Good luck. Blunt is the best option.
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