A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm very interested in a 23 year old guy who hasn't had a girlfriend before... and I'm 24 and have been dating for nearly 8 years. There are a few things that concern me about us and I'd love your thoughts on any of them:- would he likely be put off or intimidated by how much experience I have compared to him? I mean, I'm the first person he's kissed and I've kissed quite a few guys and been having sex for years.- I have never dated a guy who was younger than me or one who hasn't had a girlfriend. My best relationship, where I felt the most comfortable and understood, was with a man 18 years older than me, who understood a lot about women and relationships.- He seems to come on to me strongly then back of scared, repeatedly, with a could of months in between. I think he has built up the idea of a relationship in his mind and he doesn't feel ready for it. Is there anything I can do or say to make it seem less daunting? Overall, do you think a relationship could happen with these problems? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): I doubt the age thing will even bother him.
The sexual experience difference is a crap shoot. Some guys are really messed up about it and others totally don't care.
As for getting things going, try telling him that you're flexible about it all and you two can make up the rules as you go.
A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (18 February 2010):
 It sounds to me like he is unsure of how to proceed. I've been in that boat.
Take the initiative and be a little more bold than you would normally be. It might take a little time for him to settle down and be comfortable, but if you like him enough, you will invest a little time and patience.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 February 2010):
1) If he's secure in himself, he won't mind. My girlfriend has far more experience and not once has it ever bothered me.
2) My girlfriend is older than me, and she's happy. Don't discount him just because he's younger. A few young guys are very mature for their age and can be trusted. We're not all bad! :)
3) Some guys just get very scared. This can be overcome if you have patience and just give him some space sometimes. Clearly though if he continues to do this over a long period of time, then you'll need to think about ending it.
In short, if you both trust each other and put enough effort in, this will work out perfectly fine. So good luck!
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