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female
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anonymous
writes: My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we have a 17 month old daughter. I love him very much but I recently found out that my partner has been cheating on me for the last 6 months. He says that it didn’t mean anything and that he was blackmailed into it. He claims that it only happened cause she kissed him and then threatened to tell me if he didn’t sleep with her. He says that he thought he was protecting me by sleeping with her. The other women has done this kind of thing before with other men. The only reason I found out was because he broke it off with her and she contacted me. He swears that he loves me and hates her and that it will never happen again, but he’s still being secretive with his phone and going out at night. I don't know whether to trust him or not? Does he love her or not? I don’t know whether I should leave him and start a new life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 October 2005):
 Blackmailed? Noooooooooooooooooo! If he doesn't stop sneaking around and start being upfront with you, you'll have to give him the boot.
A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (2 October 2005):
Did your husband really believe that you was going to be more upset at him because "the woman kissed him" or because "he had sex with her for six months" to cover up "the fact that the woman kissed him"?
Even though the other woman has done that kind of thing before. It wouldn't have worked with your husband if he would have just come home and told you what she tried to do.
If he’s still being secretive with his phone and going out at night. I don't know if it is a good idea to trust him right now. He has done alot to break your trust.
Just give it some times.
It's probably just lust he is feeling for this woman, he just needs to realize he will lose his love and the lust isn't worth it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2005): I suggest that you give him another chance, there are alot of sneaky women out there, although a kiss between to people is usally a mutal thing he proberly didnt realise the impacts at the time, untill he got to deep. He has been extremly unfair to you, and you really need to sit down with him and talk, tell him about your worries over him being secretive, that he has breached your trust. If his behavior contines, i no its hard but you may need to stand up for yourself and your daughter- tell him this can't go on and and move in with a friend for a week or untill he realises the impacts his behavoir has had on you. I wish you the best of luck, and remember all the amazing things that you to have shared toegther
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