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female
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*ally2
writes: Hi there! I need help with my relationship and need to know if I am being taken for a fool?? My partner of 5 yrs has been logging onto chatrooms looking up personal ads and calling chat lines he also has a large collection of porn on his phone. Now I'm not a prude and would mostly be open to trying new things but this has made me sick to know he could be doing this behind my back and I am none the wiser?? It is making me question what else he could do without me knowing? I realised about six months ago that he had been doing this and we had a heated argument that ended in him promising never to do it again, now I have found he has been doing just that. This is a make or break thing for us so I just dont know what to do? In my heart I honestly don't think he would cheat on me but why else would he be calling personal ads and looking it up on the net?? Our sex life has become non existent and it seems he is getting his kicks elswhere? Am i being blind by thinking he is not cheating or am i overreacting about something alot of men would do?? Please help I'm always the first to give advice to others and am just so confused about my own problems. Thank you for any help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): i don't want to be negative but i have been in a relationship that was similar. believe me, they say they will stop but it only last a couple weeks. they get addicted and thier always on those sites or chat line. I called numbers back and got responses from other females telling me how they have been involved with my boyfriend whom is now my ex boy friend
A
female
reader, mandi66 +, writes (24 June 2006):
hi are we seeing the same man my husband of 11 years has been doing the same i know you must feel as confused and angry as me but if like me you honestly believe that he has not met anyone personally it may be worth trying to salvage what you have. has he told you whether he is bored or not maybe he just needs more attention in the bedroom or maybe a weekend away. if you still really love him try and work it out ask him to share his e-mails sent received with you you may learn exactly what it is that he needs. i really hope things work out
mandi66
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A
female
reader, sally2 +, writes (19 June 2006):
sally2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thank you guys!! we have spoken about it and he has stressed that he didnt think it would hurt me so much and that he promises not to do it again. he then deleted all the numbers and pictures that were on the phone so we are just taking it slow and going to start making more of an effort with eachother?? so fingers crossed!! thanks again!!
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A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Hey there sally2
I think that you need to speak to your poartner about this as it seeems that you are getting more wound up the more you realise the truth..
It needs to be sorted out and he has some explaining to do.. you should speak to him in a calm way though shouting gets you nowhere but aarguments then falling out..
If you give him his place and explain to him that you do love him and you are worried about where your relationship is headed, he will respect you more for your cealm respnse as he will realise how upset and traumatised you would be..
Remember 3 Cs Cool Calm Collected and you will get the answer you need.
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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A
female
reader, Helen Help! :)  +, writes (18 June 2006):
 Hey Huni,
Sounds to me like if hes gettin his kicks from so many different things like porn or chatlines then hes not cheatin on you because if he was cheatin on you he'd b gettin his kicks from the other girl n not porn or chatlines. so i think your fine it jus seems he might be a little bord espeially if your not having sex try spicing it up abit when he comes home have him a romatic meal ready and a sexy outfit if your the one pleasuring him in that department he wont need to go on the net or ring chatlines. Show him that your interested and that you can be just like to girls he sees on the net after all its better to have the real thing :)
Good Luck
Helen x
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