A
female
age
26-29,
*eapod
writes:Hi. Im 18 young and single. I am getting ready to graduate from high school and will be heading off to college shortly. I have done extremely well and am graduating with a 3.9 gpa. I figure with the year coming to a close why not have some fun. So today i gave this guy I've known a blow job. Its the first time I've done sex things just because I've wanted to. I don't regret it at all and wouldst minda friends with benefits thing. My question is could my decision hurt me in any way and what do you think of fwb? Mind you we only have sexual feelings for each other
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blow-job, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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female
reader, peapod +, writes (27 May 2013):
peapod is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEveryone's advice is very helpful. I understand feelings could develop and Im willing to take that chance. I really just want to have fun and if it fun for we and him i don't see it as an degrading thing. I mentioned my grades to show that I have a future, Im smart and not your typical sleeze.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (23 May 2013):
If you continue, odds are you will develop feelings for him, he will not develop feelings for you, and you will be hurt, but you will have some fun along the way.You need to decide if thats worth it for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Most FWBs don't happen because guys just expect free sex from everyone. FWBs usually happen when an average looking girl offers no-strings sex to a hotter guy who is not interested in dating her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): I say go for it. I think you're asking for trouble too, and will most likely end up gaining feelings for this at some point and getting hurt when you realize sex is all he wants.
But I don't see why you shouldn't learn this lesson the hard way while giving this guy free blow jobs.
I think it's an awesome situation for him and you know it may be awesome for you too.
I see no reason not to give it a shot and let him keep giving you shots in your mouth.
Op it's a dangerous game, but you have nothing to lose as long as you use protection.
Two outcomes are you become very hurt when you gain feelings for him but will learn a lot about FWB's, or you have a fun fling with a guy who has already boasted to his friends that sucked him off out of nowhere.
In my mind as a guy, I think the pitfalls are worth it. Gaining a reputation as a bit of a slag, falling in love with a guy who probably thinks you're too easy to be worth dating, getting very hurt and feeling used when you discover he hasn't fallen in love with you too. These are very important lessons to learn in my mind and the only true way of learning them is to do it.
But who knows, it may not turn out like that either.
Go for it, and see what happens. The come back to us when you discover that a close sexual bond almost always creates an emotional one and we'll let you know how to deal with that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): BIG mistake. Have more respect for yourself. Dont you think you deserve more than just being a toy object?
Entering into this FWB, will just cuase you more pain and hurt as woman are emotional and sex is part of teh emotional connection.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 I think that , at 18, you'd be way out of your depth and in a few weeks you'd be writing to Dear Cupid " I am in an FWB relationship with this guy, ...at first I just had sexual feelings for him ,but now I am starting falling for him, and I wonder if he may feel something more too... yesterday he twitched twice his left eyelid, do you think it's a sign that he may like me as more than FWB ? "...
FWB rarely work to full satisfaction of both parties, and only if both people are already fully emotionally fulfilled (by other stuff in their life other than relationships ), drama-adverse, with a strong , level headed handle on their moods and emotions, and maybe also a certain degree of jadedness. Not your typical teenager.
You can have fun meeting people and going on dates . I don't mean becoming the campus tramp, just keeping your eyes open if you chance into some nice ,cute guy to go out with in a less emotionally sterile context.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): I never really understood this casual giving someone a blow job. I thought blow jobs were part of the whole process, mutual oral sex, mutual pleasuring. I bet he was happy, huh, just to get off without doing nothing himself.
For me FWB is an invention that guys invented. How convenient. You are 18, don't you want dates? And why did yu even mention your GPA? What difference does it make ? I think the whole idea of FWB is degrading, someone eventually get hurt, as feelings develop. I personally like to feel for a guy something if I desided to have sex with him. I like romancing a guy I go to bed with, I like the cuddling, doing things together, conversations, outings. If I want casual sex, I would prefer one night stands, when it happened on an impulse, and both parties never plan n seeing each other again. But to continue no feelings sex for me it's just not doable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Quite a few people hook up at your age. Then quite a few of them regret it a few years later.
I hope you understand that most guys just like promiscuous girls when they are being promiscuous with them. Having promiscuity in your past will be very unattractive to a lot of men in the future once you start wanting something a little more serious. Young guys are a lot less promiscuous on average than young girls usually think they are.
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