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Could my best friend be the one?

Tagged as: Friends, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2009)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am in love with my best friend, we have been best of friends for 20 years and I am torn.. I have been with my husband for 15 years, married for 9. I have found that even though I love and care for him, I am not IN LOVE with him.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that I have in fact been in love with my friend for years. The way he looks and speaks to me has given the impression that he feels the same way I do. I am scared to do anything because I am terrified of my husband (who is mentally unstable due to psycological problems)!!

Please help me...

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (3 February 2009):

Honeygirl agony auntThe 'love' you are feeling for your partner is true love, the 'love' you are feeling for your friend is Lust!! You lust after a different life, away from the mundane day to day stuff. The more you think about your friend the more he is going to appear to be the perfect one. I think that you need to address the problems at home, you talk about your husband being mentally unstable, what is actually wrong with him? You say you are terrified of him - why? What has he done to instil such terror in you?

Honeygirl

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009):

'I love and care for my husband, but i'm not IN LOVE with him.

So you have got bored with the mundane. That's how things go, it's up to you to find ways of enlivening your marriage.

Your friend is seen in a brighter light because you aren't with him 24/7. As soon as you were the same situation would occur.

Your husands mental problem could be directly related to his wife having a straying eye.

Good luck

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