A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Where to begin... this past summer I was in Germany for three months. A man in the same office as me caught my eye (he is 28, I am 22), and a week before I left, we declared our love for each other, became a couple, discussed all the major life questions (children, marriage, etc.) and decided that we will work on a long-term long-distance relationship, with visits every few months.He is a Catholic virgin. Regarding his virginity, he said that he sees it as something he is proud of, and that it kept him away from all the bitches. I love this man, and I see him as a potential life partner. We don't know each other very well, and the relationship is still quite young (4 months..)My question regards his virgin status: since he never got to experience other women, do you think this will be a problem in the future? Will he miss this and thus be more likely to cheat on me? Anyone have any experiences with virgin men that turned them into cheaters? I personally admire his virginity and feel honored that he chose me after years of waiting....-a confused girl
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Thanks for the sound insight! I feel better now.
One major detail I forgot to include is: he lives with his parents. He never moved out, and still lives in his childhood room. Do you think the transition from living with his parents to living with me would be too much for him to handle? Should I encourage him to live alone for some time? Maybe he will regret later on not having this luxury, or perhaps I, as someone who lived on her own since she was 18, see this as a luxury because of my personality, and he sees it otherwise. He seems quite content living with them.
Any thoughts?
-confused girl
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): It sounds as if he sees sex as something special, to be shared only within a long-term committed relationship, so I don't think it likely he would cheat.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 December 2010):
 An easy woman is a bitch? Well, at least his hangups are nice and obvious. Personally I think cheating will be the least of your problems considering how he feels about women who have "too much sex".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Hi,
thanks for the replies! The bitches comment kind of threw me off as well, but he later clarified that he meant easy women, not non-virgins. Regarding male virgins, though, anyone had any experience where one cheated because he felt like he was missing out?
-confused girl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): I don't think it would drive him into cheating. What does concern me is how he talks about other women as "bitches" - that suggests to me that if you weren't a virgin before him, then eventually he'll start to resent that and group you in with "all the bitches". But if you're a virgin too then it should be fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): He is obviously a mature, upstanding sorta fellow... if he considers purity and loyalty (to his own beliefs in this case, but logically later also to you and your marriage) important enough in life to have made it celibately this farrr, why do you think he would turn around on everything and cheat on you after making a(nother) commitment? I would trust that he wouldn't, that it would be going completely against what he's proven of his character and strength as a man.
-Tante Victoire
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