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anonymous
writes: My wife and I are best friends and keep almost nothing from each other. We have a great sex life. She has always been somewhat of a flirt and a cock-tease. I like this though, because it intrigues me and keeps me excited. She is very outgoing and beautiful. Recently she told me that she'd like to take on a lover. I have fantasized about this with her before, kind of egging her on to try it. I am older and have had many experiences prior to our marriage. she has not, and I wanted to give her those experiences like I had. Is this something that some people can handle?Also, I beleieve she has had sex with other men in the past, while we were married. I know of at least one guy that she tried to get him to go to the car from a dance club one night, so she could pleasure him orally. They have also "made out in her car late at night too". She told me about this because she knows it sexually excites me. Can this type of fantasy work?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (1 April 2005):
 Lots of couples have done what you and your wife are thinking about, but your relationship needs to be rock-solid and backed up by trust and open discussion. You need to trust that following through on these fantasies is not going to jeopardise your marriage, and you need to be confident that no one is going to fall in love with a partner in the fantasy, spoiling what you have.The idea of knowing that (and/or watching) your wife have sex with another man can be very erotic, I know, but you have to reflect on your own sexual experiences together, and whether your fantasies in the past have translated into successful activities. For example, sometimes people fantasise about rape or restraint, but in practice it's too frightening to actually carry out. If in the past you've made lesser fantasies into reality, you're probably in good stead to make this one happen, too.Just sit down together and hammer out the exact details beforehand, so you both know what you intend. Where will she meet this guy? Will he know that he's part of a couple's fantasy? Will he be someone you know already? Are you going to watch and/or participate? What happens the next day? Do you plan on doing this again and again?All these sorts of questions need to be asked and answered... then, if you feel confident, GO FOR IT.Have fun!
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