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anonymous
writes: OK now I have this friend and she is 13 turning 14 in April and she wants to know if she can move out of her house that she lives in right now with her mom and her mom's husband. She doesn't like it there. She was wondering if she could like move in with her grandma who lives in GA (we live in Ohio) but anyways she was wondering that or if she can move in with her bf? His mom and dad already said OK on it. Well that's what her bf told her but she's mostly wanting to move in with her grandma. Can she do that at this age? I mean, she doesn't want to hurt her mom, she just don't wanna live here in Ohio with her mom and mom's husband anymore. Can she do that at 13 and not get in trouble? Please tell me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (1 April 2005):
 She won't get into "trouble" for moving where she lives, so long as her mom gives her written consent and the adults who are responsible for your friend in her new place agree to care for her and be legally responsible for her actions. It's the sort of arrangement where a lawyer should be drawing up an agreement between the parties, because there are parenting and legal issues that have to be spelled out beforehand. But it's a pretty drastic step, don't you think?Perhaps a good place to start is for your friend to get her mom alone and speak to her about why she's so unhappy where she's living now. It might be much simpler to fix the problem at home than to take a major step like moving interstate.Sometimes kids have problems that seem insurmountable to them, but are really fairly easy to solve. All that's needed is to tell someone, so that the problem that's making home life so uncomfortable can be addressed. It's worth trying and definitely much less of an upheaval than the other plans your friend is making.I would caution your friend not to move in with her boyfriend at his home. Living with any partner is tremendously difficult (don't let anyone tell you otherwise) and the pressure of dating and living together and seeing each other at school and at breakfast and sharing a bathroom and still trying to get homework done and have an outside life with other friends could be a death-knell for your friend's relationship with her boyfriend.Tell your friend this from me: Start by being as calm and mature as you can and talk to your mom. Don't whine, demand or cry and try to stay serious without getting mad. Tell her that you're unhappy and why you're unhappy. Say that you feel like leaving and moving away and that you just want a happy home life. See what she says, and if you don't get a satisfactory answer, give your grandma a ring and tell her what's going on. Ask Grandma to speak to your mom about the problem.Getting two adults to try to help solve the problem is going to be much more effective than just running away from the problem that your friend is having.Take care.
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