A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi Everyone - I've had some great help from many of you over the past year or so regarding me ending a relationship.To cut a long story short, my ex-partner and I were together for 4 years before I ended things - that was originally in February 2007. He kept texting me then and desperately wanted us to try again, so in September last year we got back together.We didn't live together or anything but I somehow felt an obligation to try again rather than my heart being truely in it. We had completely grown apart for whatever reason and in the end we split up in March this year.He still, however, kept in contact and I thought he had accepted everything. He suggested going for a drink so I agreed thinking it would be so nice if we could have a couple of beers as mates. He, however still wanted us to try yet again. That was only 8 weeks ago and he has since had a week's holiday away but he texted me the other day to tell me that he had met someone else - a friendship that could develop is what he said.I do feel that he needs to be in a relationship and although I have wished him well something is just telling me that he can't possibly have got over our split in such a short time when only 8 weeks ago he was desperate for us to try again. He says he has accepted that we are over apart from being mates. Has anyone else been through the same with an ex? Although we are not an item, I do still care about him in a friendship way. Is this possible relationship completely on the rebound?Can anyone relate? Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Dear Uncles and Aunts
Please relate to his posting:
I have said I wish him well because to me this must totally be on the rebound. Has anyone been through the same?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-said-i-wish-him-well-because.html
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Well, if you still care about this guy's feelings, but don't want a sexual relationship with him, the absolute best and kindest thing you can do for him right now is run to the hills.
Seriously, forget about him. Ignore any attempt he makes to communicate with you. Change your number, change your e-mail address if you have to. Just DON'T communicate with him in any way whatsoever.
If you still want to be friends with this guy, then maybe in 1 year, or 2 years, or 5 years' time - you can make the first move and achieve that. Just not now.
I have been through the same, and if you're serious about being friends with him (as opposed to ditching him and cutting it off completely), you need to go through a period of serious cold turkey before you can do this properly. At least one year, if not longer.
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