A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 weeks now and tonight during sex (he was about to finish) he said my name, took a long pause and said "i love you." i responded by laughing saying "no you dont." and that its only been a couple weeks. he said that he thinks he's falling in love then. how should i take that? did he just say it in the moment? i like him a lot and i feel bad about how i reacted but i really doubt he meant it. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (4 January 2010):
Let me make sure I understand this: You two were having sex - I presume that means full penetrative intercourse, not just necking and fondling - and you've known each other for only 2 weeks, and up to now neither of you thought you loved each other? This seems backwards to me - what special thing will you do to signify to somebody (this guy, or somebody else), that you really DO love him?
You're right - he almost certainly does NOT love you. Let his reaction be a warning to you, that there's really no such thing as sex with "no strings attached". There is always some amount of emotional attachment between sex partners. He may be experiencing infatuation, or lust. He may love the sensations of sex with you, but he doesn't love YOU. Quite frankly, his love of sex with you may even get in the way of his learning to love YOU.
Don't dismiss it too lightly - he may indeed be starting to fall in love with you. I can honestly say that I was beginning to love my wife within a couple weeks of first meeting her, but we spent 3 months writing real, serious, letters to each other before we met.
Don't feel bad about your reaction. Your candidness is actually an indication that you respect him, and that kind of communication is quite important to a love relationship. I think one of the best things you could do right now is discuss it with him - what does "love" mean to each of you, and how do you recognize "love".
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
It's more likely it was something he said while you were having sex. Now take more time getting to know him, and watch how he acts and how he treats you.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 I highly doubt he loves you at this point (and he did say this during sex) but he does seem to like you a lot. Don't worry about how you reacted...it was normal and it shows that you're not naive.
What you have to do is give things more time...see how he acts, not what he says. The way you take what he said to you is to realize that he did feel very strongly at that moment. Only time will tell whether he falls in love with you or not. Don't worry too much about this now, enjoy his company and the time with him and don't take what a guy says too seriously unless he shows it with his actions.
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