A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've signed up to a dating site, had some replies - actually 4, and one looked interesting.How do I know it's not a "catfish" though?The profile looked very natural, and had a [state].gov email address mentioned in his profile, along with photos that were natural - not photoshopped or stock photos or photoshoots. They even had the date stamp on!One was even of his old car, with him on.I'm 34, he's 28 and does look it.I'm in Chicago, he's in St. Paul, that's like 6 hours between us isn't it?Should I meet him considering who he is (U.S. local government employee) or be suspicious of his identity?Would a local government employee really use these sites or could it be a spammer?It's a dating site behind a paywall, so anyone can't just signup for it, only accepts Paypal.Wondering what to do, should I trust my intuition? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2013): I really don't know if it is or not, but do you honestly think you will go and meet this guy who lives six hours away? If you think you might, then within a few weeks if you seem to be connecting on the computer then make plans to meet, and soon. If it is a catfish story, he will fall for you very quickly and profess his feelings for you, even though he's never met you and will have no intentions of meeting even though he says he will. He will always have a reason why he can't or make elaborate plans to do so and then cancel at the last minute. Don't fall into that trap with him, or anyone. Just be careful what kind, and how much information you share with him or anyone until you know and actually meet in person.But the photos you describe remind me of a Dr. Phil show on tv not too long ago with fake pics and credentials.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2013): He is a government employee just waiting to lose his job.
That address is government property and it's against policy to be used for personal use; or to be misrepresented in any way.
This is more than a red-flag.
It's a huge red banner covering the state of Minnesota.
You're old enough to know better. That should have been enough for you to totally lose interest, just on those facts alone. He has huge stones and a tiny brain.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 September 2013):
 He could be a city employee, which is not smart to use an email for personal use. Did you Google search his name or Facebook or LinkedIn? You should do a background check on him anyways if he's an online person.
Personally, I don't recommend starting a long distance relationship even if he's a good guy. Those are tough under any circumstances, and not only is it 5 1/2-6 hours away, but you being in Chicago, you're used to the i-pass, but each trip on I-90 is $24 to the non-residents in tolls. Add to that the money it would take to travel there anyways, and you're talking pretty expensive relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 September 2013):
 Could be that he is not very dating site savvy and is using his work e-mail (which I might add is rather unwise).
If there is something that makes you say hmm, then I would trust your gut. It may or may not be right. But I'm a big believer in trusting that gut instinct.
With that said, nothing you mention makes me think he is bogus.
...............................
|
