A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So there's this girl...She's 17 about to turn 18 and I'm 21...not that this is an age related question, I just thought I'd throw that info in. We went to school together but we never really talked, she was shy then. We started talking like two weeks ago out of the blue and I like her a lot. and trust me I may only be 21 but I myself know it's not just puppy love...We honestly have more in common than any girl ive ever talked to...Well here's where the question comes into play... She has a boyfriend, but flirts with me pretty bluntly. Her boyfriend goes to college on the opposite side of the state and she never sees him which is why I think she flirts with me. She says she wants to come over to "hangout" but I'm hesitant...do I lend her a hand in destroying her relationship, or do I set my feelings aside and not pursue her? I want to pursue her but I don't want to be just some physical fling which may be what she only wants me for.
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flirt, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2013): She seems untrustworthy. Do you really want to hang your heart on a girl who cheats? She's doing what is common in her age-group; although it is wrong. She is young, and has a few lessons to learn.
If sex is your goal, then pursue her. If you want to win her heart, wait until she breaks up with her boyfriend. Give her a few months to get over him; and you'll know if she's only teasing you for attention.
Then try when everything is working in a positive direction; and the odds aren't against a successful romantic connection. She'll be a little older, and the other guy will be out of the picture.
She may care more for him than you know. Loneliness may be her only reason for keeping in touch. Flirting is easy when you're texting. It's naughty, and there's little chance of being busted. She's satisfying an attention deficit. She hasn't broken up with him. There's a reason for that.
If you're smitten with her (nicer than saying a horny pig), you'll probably do all the wrong things. You'll realize the error of your ways, when all I've said materializes into reality.
If you go after another guy's girl; because it's convenient, she's lonely, and he's faraway attending school. What does that say about your character?
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (21 September 2013):
 No, you don't help destroy a relationship, ever!
What you do is talk to her about how you feel about her and ask her how she feels.
If she feels the same then you tell her that you can't do anything about starting a relationship until she's free to be with you.
Then you wait.
If she's prepared to cheat on this LD guy with you then she's the type to do the same to you later on.
If she likes you too and she does the decent thing and lets the other guy down gently, then you know she's the type of girl you can trust.
I hope that helps AB x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2013): Depends on what you want. If you think a relationship with a girl who will be flirting with other guys and perfectly willing to cheat on you if the opportunity arises is going to be good then go ahead.
If you think she's only doing that because he's in another place or because you're just more amazing then again go for it.
You're also talking about love after only two weeks.
OP if it happens you're talking about getting into something with a 17 year old girl who flirts and cheats. If you want to fool yourself into thinking that's because you're just soooo special then go ahead.
OP if I know my dates right then college in America only started up again a few weeks ago and already there's a chance she may cheat with you?
You need to set your feelings aside for one moment and look at what's really happening here. She sounds like a good time teenage girl who will float onto any guy she takes fancy to when the opportunity arises. Assuming of course this is what you think it is, she may not see you that way at all.
Oh and it's very much an age related question. Think of how immature and young you were at 17 and how different you've become in the past 4 years. If you think that doesn't matter you're in for a shock because it does. It doesn't mean it's not possible but it does present quite a few challenges.
Do whatever you want OP, I think it's a bad idea. You like her too much, she's not available, if she cheats with you then that makes her a cheater you can't trust either and frankly other than flirting you really have no idea what is happening here. You may well have this all wrong OP.
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