A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There is this boy M that I used to be friends with in 9th grade but then we stopped talking completely after a fight.We started talking again occasionally after last summer when we met at a bday party.We are hs seniors now.I was at 2 parties where he was too.He gets very drunk at almost every party and says dumb stuff.At the first party he was watching me but didn't talk to me only after some shots he started.Most of that night he was after or around me trying to get me to dance with him.He was pretty touchy.He even put his head on my lap and stayed there.At the end of the night I agreed to dance with him on a song since others insisted.It was a slow song and he held me really close to his body.He liked someone back then.At the second party, it was this late autumn, he annoyed me and told me some rude, dumb and suggestive stuff though he claimed he was joking only.I ended up returning home with him and another guy friend.We stopped so that M could eat.There, among the stupid things he told me he also took my hands in his and not let go, touched my leg with his leg, he even tried to caress it but I didn't let him, told me I'm beautiful but I didn't fall for any of that.He wasn't drunk now, maybe just a bit tipsy.When we left out of nowhere he held hands with me, interlacing our fingers.He would not let go, taking back my hand if I escaped.My other guy friend told me M looked proud, happy like he accomplished smth.Could all this betray the fact he has an underlying attraction for me? And the weird part is that M thought I liked that guy friend that was with us and he insisted on it.The next day that guy friend informed me that M asked if I said anything about last night and he found out I disliked parts of his behavior and he said it's my problem if I can't make the difference between a joke and being serious, even though things he said were really off.Almost 3 weeks ago I noticed by looking in my whatsapp list that I still have his number after all this years so I decided to text him to see if he still uses it.He replied and told me he still does, asked why and I explained that bit to him.Then a week and a half ago we had a math test and I was in the same classroom as him(we are not classmates)and he sat on my left side.He asked me for a pencil and during the test I noticed him staring at me a couple of times instead of writing.I texted him later that day to see how it went for him and we talked a while about this, marks in general, his situation, him asking about mine and how I did on another test.So far it's me who initiated smth.Do you think he replied to me only out of politeness? He's not the very polite type anyways.Not that he's evil, but he's pretty dumb and mean at times and has a crude sense of humour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2014): Bad boys can be pretty charming, and they know how to make nice girls feel special.
Red-flag, he says stupid things and he can be mean. He is too pushy for you, and worst of all things; he gets drunk and stupid!!! That is off the charts bad news!
You are in over your head; just being friends with him. I'm not telling you not to be. I know you'll do just the opposite. You'll try to find a reason I'm wrong. I'll just warn you.
You know he will not stop until he has his way with you. He knows you like him, and he is going to play on your feelings. That's because he thinks he's smarter than you,
and has you all figured out.
Needless to say, he will bring you nothing but misery; and he will break your heart. You don't have the personality for boys like that. They get into trouble, and he will drag you into it. You're already giving him far too much attention; and he's pulling you in. That's because he knows girls like you end up doing things they're sorry for. Usually after it's too late. That's why bad boys go for the nicer types of girls. It's easier to manipulate and take advantage of them. It smarter to avoid guys like him. If you don't know better now, you will soon enough.
Know when a boy is bad for you. No matter how charming he can be. That's how smooth players are. They do everything they can to get you hooked. That's to get sex. He'll get drunk and get into trouble. He will be mean and disrespectful to you. Your parents will get into your business; because you've made a bad choice. You don't always have to learn things the hard way. Sometimes you just need to use common-sense.
You don't need friends who get drunk, and say and do stupid things. He's mean and crude. You can choose your friends.
Choose wisely! He might rub off on you. He has no class.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (8 May 2014):
I don't think this guy's a very good match for you. It doesn't seem like there's anything that you like about him other than that he might be attracted to you.
I think it's more like he wants to have sex with than anything else. If that's all you want then go for it. Otherwise wait a little to meet someone you're better suited to.
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