A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I mean this question with all respect, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I really need to know something and would like to hear other people's opinions. I'm so afraid I will offend someone but I swear I don't mean to. I'm a USA-ian (I like to say "USA-ian" instead of "American) and Floridian, and the only foreign country I've ever visited is Mexico. (I LOVED it and I'm going back someday despite all the crap and lies that our media feeds us about Mexico there are some beautiful, peaceful places there, but enough digressing). I've always longed to go to Spain, and I've researched it all my life and I'm going this year. I was discussing my upcoming trip with this lady from my church, and she said something that made me a little sad. She said something like, "Whatever you do don't get involved with the guys over there because they all cheat on their wives and have a mistress." I've always admired this culture, and I don't understand how this can be true because I can't believe that every single man there lacks a moral centre. I'm not going there to meet someone, though. I have no idea if I'll ever settle down, or with whom. I honestly don't think I could ever be attracted to someone who isn't Mexican. Nothing wrong with Europeans, but I'm super attracted to Mexicans, and I always wished I could have had a Mexican boyfriend or husband. Many people tell me to "do the right thing and stick with your own kind and find a nice American white guy," but "my own kind" doesn't interest me. Honestly I'm not ready to settle down with ANYONE because there's so much I haven't done yet.But this thing she said made me sad, because I can't believe that an ENTIRE race of people can be cheaters. I suppose that I'm not as worldly or traveled as many people and perhaps I'm naive. I've admired the culture of Spain all my life and I don't understand how a culture that created so many wonderful things... can be BAD? I feel like if you love someone, then you will be faithful to them, and I don't see how an entire race of men is incapable of love. I am really sorry if this comes across as offensive but like I said I swear that's not my intention. I've read loads about Spain but it's mostly about the culture, the architecture, the art, the music, and the history. Oh yeah and the language. The books I've read are really weak on relationships, though. I don't see how they can lack the ability to love or lack a moral centre.I just don't believe this is true. I don't see how a whole race of men can be bad! I hear it a lot, though, and sometimes I wonder if I'm naive. I try to question everything I read and hear, but I'm confused. I would like to hear from people who have been there or have some experience... am I naive? Or is Lonely Planet full of s--t? ;)Please forgive me if I've offended anyone, that wasn't my intention, I just want to clear up my confusion. Thanks.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 March 2009):
I am from Europe and let me tell you that in Texas ALL men ride horses and own oil wells They ALL voted for George Bush as well.
Did you know that ALL Scottish men love to get drunk and fight people. On Friday nights they have special areas of the city sectioned off for it.
Meanwhile, in Japan, every single man spends his days worrying about being polite and doing complex mathematical puzzles.
And no offence but why would a Spanish man want to get with an American woman? They ALL have huge hair and plastic teeth and have put put a big flag out in the garden everyday. They drink nothing but coffee and that can't be good for them.
I could go on but you get my point....
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): http://books.google.com/books - do a search for "Spain is different" (By Helen Wattley Ames).This is a link to a book about Spain and it's cultures and the differences from Americans.It is true that it is more common for Spanish men to have mistresses and that their wives are more tolerant of the situation. People under 40 in Spain now have the option to divorce where years past there was no such option....so now if the situation becomes intolerable, couples do divorce.Spanish people have longer relationships with friends than Americans tend to have and part of the culture there allows that women are only expected to keep up their appearances until marriage. Once married the women are expected to take on the mother role completely and it is considered distasteful for her to watch her weight or to dress in a young style, so the men are often keeping mistresses who do keep up with those things as they are unmarried...Anyway check out this book....it talks a lot about relationships in Spain.
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A
female
reader, Pandaholic123 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 We all have feelings like this: "ALL MEN SUCK!" or "MEN ARE A**HOLES!" or something of that sort- It's understandable- No one should be judged on their opinion or flare of outbursting. I have a nack for that. ha ha. I personally have no favorites of the spanish people- no offense to them- Not my type at all. See? there's my opinion. =) I don't care whom sees it ^_^ I believe what you think as well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): well... I am a male, age 24, from Buffalo, NY, USA. A little bit younger than you, but perhapse I can shed some light on this for you.
No, I do not think the entire race of men are cheaters. I have never once cheated on a girl before. I never even was an accessory to cheating. In other words, if I knew a girl had a boyfriend, I never let her cheat.
I have absolutely no respect for anyone who cheats. To me this is one of the few unforgivable infractions. To give you an idea of where cheating stands in my book... Murder I can probably eventually forgive, but cheating I cannot. If my girlfriend cheated on me and I found out. I would be so crushed by it and the relationship would end right then and there. I would likely not even talk to her for quite some time after that. So I ask myself... Do I want to put other people through that? The answer... HELL NO!!!! So that is why I choose not to cheat, or be a part of cheating... I mean, if you are gonna cheat, then you made it quite clear you no longer want to be with the person you are with... Do yorself and your significant other a favor and end the relationship first.
I know there are a fair amount of men out there who feel the same as me on this issue, so yes, while most people may cheat, there are definitely some men out there with a strong moral compass. Keep looking, don't get discouraged. He is out there for you somewhere.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): First off, i cant stand when people group people together like that. you know like "all men" or "all women". i highly doubt that all Spanish men have mistresses. I mean, does that woman know EVERY man in spain? has she met their mistresses? lol thats so silly. listen girl, if you want a spainsh man then you go for it. dont let other peoples silly opinions and superstitions stop you from doing what you want in life. you want to make you happy, go for it!
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