A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this is a very sensitive issue, and well I would really like some advice, i'm in a very emotional state atm so please don't be too harsh guys :L Recently, i've been thinking that I could get back with my ex. We were together for 3 months, and we broke up at the beginning of this month. I really liked him, and I mean REALLY liked him, I would say love but I know some people don't think thats possible after just 3 months. We were very compatible together, people would say we were like the male and female versions of each other, he used to make me smile, and I honestly thought we could last for a while. It turns out he wasn't as good as I thought, towards the end of our three month relationship, I found out he had cheated on me multiple times, I found all of these things out from different people, and to this day he can't admit it to me, but he doesn't bother denying it anymore. It hurt, and I am a very hard person to convince to forgive another for something like that. We ended and I refused to speak to him up until a couple of days ago. I was recently attacked by someone in town, and he heard about it, and well hes been at my side like a dog, hes been helping me throughout it all and it means alot. Hes told me he loves me, and that he will change for me, hes trying to do all he can to convince me that he would do anything for me, and even though i've heard it all before of other boyfriends, there just something about him that I can't let go. I really want us to work so bad, and I feel that there is a chance maybe he might of learnt this time, and we could be happy. They always say you don't realise what you have until its gone. I know most people will think its a ridiculous idea, and to be honest, some days so do I. But I just want to know what do people think about this? and more importantly, what should I do? We have both agreed if we did get back together it would take time, and it wouldn't be perfect straight away, so what are peoples views about this? Thanks for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I know this is all too much drama for my age, and I know that they all come out with the same lines over and over again. But tbh, teenage relationships are meaant to be fun, but they never are. There times where you learn whats right and whats wrong and I guess its all a part of growing up. I'm not an easy person to convince, but hes different. It sounds insane and i've already told him that if he loved he wouldn't of cheated on me. I do beleive that everyone deserves a second chance, and even though I can't and don't want to even justify what he did, he has been putting everything he has towards getting me back. I took a break up from a 9 month relationship better than I have with this, and it says alot really. I do beleive that maybe people can change, and it sounds really stupid. Maybe this time things might be different, and if not, then i'll guess I will learn from this mistake. I'm not getting back with him yet or even at all, hes been giving a week to prove to me that I mean something to him, and after that i'll make my decsion, and even after I make my decsion, I want to stay single for a while longer. Thankyou for your advice.
A
female
reader, Beenthrumills +, writes (24 March 2013):
Hi there, a similar thing happened to me in the past. Like you he wouldn't admit it either, I had to prove what he'd been up to with email evidence. I dumped him but a while later he was back in touch saying how sorry he was etc, realised he had messed up etc. To cut a long story short I cautiously gave him another chance. And he messed me around again. It is possible that someone can make a mistake and be genuinely remorseful, learn from it and not do it again. But I would consider this to be more likely to apply to a one off. If someone has messed you around as you say 'multiple times' and in addition won't come clean about it but just doesn't bother denying it then I echo everyone else - stay well clear. It is tempting if you're going through a bad time to be receptive to any kindness you get but without meaning to sound cynical he could just be seeing this as a way of getting back in while you're vulnerable.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (24 March 2013):
 " I am a very hard person to convince to forgive another"
This entire question would suggest otherwise.
I'm going to agree with iAmHereToHelpYou here. At 16/17 and with only a three month relationship, I think all this drama is more trouble than it's worth.
Give yourself sometime to get over the relationship. There are so many better things that can be occupying your mind at this age - like who the next cutie will be to come into your life!
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