A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am an Asian girl in a long distance relationship with a European guy. The relationship has been great and we communicate often despite the distance. We lived together for 4 months while I was in Europe and our current plan is for me to finish my bachelors so I can move to Europe to pursue a Masters degree. I still have a year left to complete my bachelors. We would like to visit each other every 3 months and are financially able to afford it. But the thing is, I wonder if my parents will oppose to me visiting him. They are very conservative and traditional parents who do not approve of pre marital sex or cohabitation. My parents know we are dating though, but they don't know I have lived with him when I was overseas. What should I do? I don't want to lie to my parents about visiting my boyfriend (I think their main concern is me living with my boyfriend when I visit)
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 August 2015):
 Two thoughts come to mind:
1. "... we can afford it..." Does this mean that you and B/F are self-supporting? If "No," (your parents are financing your education costs) then you must consider that THEY have "final word" on what you do.... pending them having an important veto on your activities.....
2. If No 1 (above) is that you and B/F are independent.... then your only real question is: How can I reveal to my parents that I will be staying with my B/F when I visit Europe? The answer to that is: You be honest with them... tell them that you and B/F are very close.... enough so that you and he will be sharing an address on your visits.... AND, that you and he may also choose to share that address if/when you go for your graduate studies in Europe....
Good luck.. have fun..... and STUDY HARD!!!!
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 August 2015):
 Asian cultural differences are highly respectable. That's why the asain cultures have survived for millions of years. "western" cultures are vastly different(corrupted,some might say) But the universal norm is respect. You must(not should) show grest respect to your parents and inform them of your plans. This can be done in a highly respectfull and loving way. I'd recommend a very long letter that details your undying love and thanks for all the advantages they have provided and allow the subject to segway into 'what is love?" Then upon a definition of that love explain how your introduction to the big wide world of western culture has led you to embrace a more moderate view and while embracing the values instilled by loving parents you have chosen a path that is parallel to theirs and you pray that they can accept and understand your choices. etc...etc.You can do this just be honest and carefull in your word choices. Become the recipient of this grand news while seeing through their eyes. Good Luck and congradulations. He is one lucky sonofagun to have you.
...............................
|
