A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm just wondering what dating means to people in this situation, if a guy "dates" a girl and sees her every week is that just exclusive dating between them or does "dating" mean he's seeing other girls too , there's a guy I know and said he's dating my friend but they're not exclusive and she's unsure but doesn't want to ask because she doesn't want to look silly as she's not young I haven't said this to the guy as its not my place and I respect her wishes ,other guys she has been out with where proper exclusive relationships at the start, so if anyone can shed some light on this then thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): For different people dating means different things. There is also a difference between men and women. Men an date several women at the same time. In old times that was quite difficult as men paying for women ritual always took place. So if a a guy could afford all the multiple women he did it. Nowdays everything is split, so guys can have as many women and still his wallet intact and have sex with all of them.
With women it's a bit different. When women date it's usually someone they like and want to have a s a boyfriend. Women rarely keep on going for several months dating someone they don't consider boyfriend material. To have multiple " daters " for a woman means having sex with all of them and women " usually" don't want to do it. I know though a lady who made it a habit of dating few guys at a time, and having sex with all of them. But it is highly unusual for women.
Guys on another hand can easily date for months a woman without making it "official". Because he is "not sure". I don't think guys are ever sure.
I personally would never date a guy if I knew he was doing the multiple dating thing. I don't think it's fare to any woman. And I don't care what the rules are in modern society
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): "Dating" means that you are involved with a person romantically. It usually does imply that there is some level of exclusivity and a relationship or the potential for one. But oftentimes at the beginning of a relationship, you may say you are "dating" that person while not being exclusive. But it is usually because it is too early in the relationship to define it. And you haven't yet expressed your expectations and made it official.
When you are hanging with someone casually, even if you hook up with them periodically, that is not "dating." That is usually referred to as "a person you hook up with." Or some people might call it a "friends with benefits."
When the relationship is official, and serious, most people will refer to the other person as, "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): Dating means something different to different people.
Some people feel they are dating, if they see each other on a regular basis.
Some people would see dating only as a mission leading to sex.
Some people see dating as an experiment. Testing personality-types to find the right match. By taking them out of their comfort-zone, and always introducing them to something new. (Me myself, and my favorite type of guy!)
What women seem to confuse more about dating than men, is that you can date someone exclusively without being committed. You can also see someone regularly with no intent to do anything but date. A favorite traveling-companion; someone to share time, have fun, sex, and spend your money on. You can see other people, as long as there is no mutual-agreement to see each other exclusively.
Once you commit, that's a contract not to see other people; then you're no longer dating. You're in a relationship.
You can go out on "dates," even when you're married. It means you're sharing romantic moments out together, like you did when you first met. That keeps marriages alive!
A guy can have a bromance with another guy who understands his ways and shares his philosophy on life. He'll take him out on the town to get laid. He'll share all his favorite guy-activities; that women wouldn't care to participate. It's not homosexual in any way. It's "male-bonding." The term straight guys rather use; but we gay men call it dating.
A lady picks only a certain type of girlfriend she'll go out clubbing with. Together they go on a mission to slay hearts, tease, and collect numbers from male-admirers. They are dating each other. Because they don't go home with anyone; even if they had dozens of great offers. They're sharing something between them only girls understand. They select a particular lady to party with. Some kind of female-therapy thingy that we guys can't figure-out. They show open affection, without being lesbian. My lesbian friends absolutely hate it; because it's confusing to them too!
Dating in a romantic-sense is a way to open-up, or slowly reveal, your feelings to someone you're attracted to. It doesn't mean you have to fall in-love with them. It doesn't mean you're in-love with them.
If the feelings are reciprocated, you try to make a love-connection by finding creative ways to entertain them and spark even more romance, and peek their interest. You're working for their affections, striving to impress them, and wooing their attention in order to chose you above other people.
You have to be careful to stay on the same page. Some put the cart before the horse, by changing their single-status on Facebook after the third date. A guy can date you 10 times, and not consider you his girlfriend.
Don't confuse commitment with dating. There is no number of dates that automatically dubs you "committed". Don't get it twisted. It takes some kind of "declaration" on somebody's part you're their boo. That's American for "main-squeeze."
Proper translation: my girlfriend, or boyfriend. If they "willingly" agree. Hopefully with enthusiasm!
Dating is basically sharing quality-time with someone you have the potential to care for; and making your emotions available to see where they lead. To friendship, FWB, or to something more? Hopefully all of the above.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 January 2015):
 Dating can mean different things to people. There are people who do one on one from the start. There are others who date around. There are those who tolerate the other one dating others if it's still early. There are also people who would not bother waiting and competing for exclusivity and try to do it right the first time. In their situation they are not exclusive. I think it's okay for you to tell her he could be seeing other girls. It's also not silly to ask for clarity. It's sensible. It's not a maturity thing but it's about compatibility on social values.
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