A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:4 years ago,i was going out with a boy for three months...i was the one responsible for our breakup...i was afraid of my father because he's a strict man and he don't want to hear any boyfriends type of things from me...for him, at that time i had to be serious in my studies..so i was damn afraid of what will happen if my father will know about my relationship with that guy...so in order to not be in trouble..i left the guy whom i really loved...i left him without saying him a word...i ignored him completely...but i decided to patch up with that boy after my exams...but...boufff...two months after our breakup he went to stay at his mother's place in France...i was shattered...cried a lot...i was expecting to get a call or sms from him...but i kept on waiting...he never did so...then i thought that he has probably forgotten me, he must be enjoying himself with other girls over there...so i decided to move on in life, go out with another guy...but that didn't work for long as i was unable to forget my ex...during two years i tried to get in a relationship but..:( was missing my ex too much...i had known him in 2006 and it was on 2009, after three years that a friend of mine gave me my ex's number...i sent him a message and he called me...the first thing he said to me was 'will you marry me'..no hi how are you or whatever...he directly said 'will you marry me'...i was dumb...he was very happy to hear me...we again patch up despite being far from each other...it was difficult for me to trust him because he had changed a lot...he was not the one whom i knew 3 years back...but still i loved him a lot...and i have a feeling that he too loves him...i could see it..but then..again after three months...he started ignoring me in the way that sometimes when he was online but he was not replying me when i was chatting with him...sometimes he replied but then went offline without telling me...then after some days...he completely stopped talking with me...i never saw him online....infact we had not really broke up...it was just that he was busy with his studies and me too...but as a boyfriend he should at least take a few minutes to send me a message to know whether i'm fine or not...so then i thought well about his behavior and all, i decided to forget him despite loving him...but everyday i came online the first thing i do is that i used to check whether he has sent me a message but..:(after a few months...while i was chatting with my friends, he came online...he chatted with me and we again 'patch up... .lol...i don't know why but i believe that he loves me and he really wants me to be beside him for all his life...but his behavior sometimes makes me feel the contrary...from last year to this year...our relationship is like this...for some months we are together..then no news about each other because we are both busy with our studies then sometimes during the weekend we chat with each other...i am sure that he's cheating on me...but there's a feeling that makes me feel that he really loves me... because if he really didn't love me...then why each time he patches up with me???? why he say that he wants to marry me??? all the things he say..it clearly shows that he loves me but why is he cheating on me????it's very confusing but i beg of u..plz help me...hope you've understood my situation..thanks in advance
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female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 You seem to be in love with the person he was, and to me it seems the idea of that is the only thing thats keeping you in this 'relationship', i think you need to ask yourself are you in love with the person he is now, because he's clearly changed, then you need to review your 'relationship' well actually lack of one, if you find yourself in love with who he is, then try extra hard to try and stay in touch during those times when your studying, but if hes purposely ignoring you or you think he is talk to him about it i doubt he'd be giving you the brush off, just to end up getting back together with you, i think the most useful thing you could do is just talk to him, because its his insight you need most
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 You don't know for sure he cheated. He's probabaly tried to forget you but couldn't. It's a good thing to honor your parent's wishes as you both are doing. Well basically you don't make money yet so you have no say about where you want to live. It comes a point when you have to leave your parents to show your independence. Finish your studies. If you do meet again it would be the decisive moment. Will you feel like strangers or will you continue where things left off?
There are only two things to worry about. One is if he comes back to the US. Second if he decides to stay in France. It's a crazy idea to travel to France if you don't know the language and you neet a visa or get married to have a job. So if he doesn't come back you know it's time to move on.
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A
female
reader, Vicci +, writes (21 March 2010):
 hey.
tbh, i dont know how to help, but here gos.
your boyfriend sounds nice. direct, he loves you.
try talking to him. dont corner him just ask him if hes happy. how his studies are going. then ask, babe, are you angry at me? tell me, because then i can change whatevers annoying you.
if you dont want to change, break up. you could do better.
xxxx
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