A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey frnds Please help me out! I have been in FWB relationship for 2 years with my married boss. He is very handsome, sexy and intelligent.WE are engaged in oral sex only. I love him very much, but he clearly says that he don't want emotional bond. He only get physical with me during lunch time. He never calls me at some hotel or his house. Many times he asks me to find some other guy also who can give me full time. Now he is asking me for intercourse.When i express my feelings to him he gets angry. But promises to be in my life till death, but only for physical relations and as friends. He don't accept me as a lover. I don't know what to do.
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engaged, my boss, oral sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DanielleLynn  +, writes (29 December 2008):
I feel the same. I am tired of intercourse, and, although emotional about my own felacio (as in, female receiving from male), I am so pissed for all the times I gave in first, and was not graciously on the recieving end. Will this fantasy come true and when? I'm not giving in until I recieve. Which is why it would just feel so good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): He is an utter bastard for using you like a dish rag. Recognise that he is STEALING the best years of your life within this ONE lifetime you're living. You & every other female deserves to have someone love them just for them to the extent of making a home with eventually little kids made in your image. Dont you want that for yourself? To come home to someone you can call your own, to have & to hold that person every day instead of going to bed alone with cold memories & constant tears for company while he snuggles up to his wife all cosy & warm.
This may sound terribly simplistic but please at least try it. Write what I've stated above down somewhere were you have sight of it daily; Look into the mirror, look yourself in the eye & repeat out loud to the valuable yet lost person you see before you. The power of repetition is said to speak to the subconscious mind & eventually asserts itself in our actions & behaviour.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): I see nothing really confusing about this.
He wants one thing. You want another. He's telling you he won't change. You're wondering why he won't change anyway.
You know the answer to this, you just don't like it.
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A
male
reader, Intrigued40s +, writes (15 December 2008):
Resistance on his part is your afrodisiac, a challenge for you that you want to conquer. I bet that if he would be the one obsesed with you you would feel rejection towards him. It is dificult to believe that only oral is what happends between you two in 2 years. Is it that you haven't been alone outside work? Is that he consideres penetration infidellity but not oral sex?
I met a woman once who considered kissing other person infidellity but not having sex with him.
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Oh boy hun...this is a kettle of fish you are in. You are obsessed here I think and it is this obsession which is blinding you to reality. He may be handsome and sexy but he is not coming your way is he? Nor will he I can tell from your post that you know this..at least your head does but I think you are already in deep on an emotional level and that is keeping you stuck in this demeaning situation. I do not like the sound of the game he is playing...he says he will be in your life forever as friend but is also pushing for sex....how condescending is that. He has the upper hand here as he is your boss and a nice little life in the suburbs with his wife.
You are full aware that you need to end this. It is going to hurt like fury but, in time that pain will diminish. The damage being done to your self esteem here has got to be huge. You do not state your job position but here in Canada your boss's conduct could be harassment but in this case things sound like they were consensual.
You need to leave your job and terminate this relationship. This man has nothing to offer you. It kind of sounds like he is appeasing his conscience by mentioning you could find someone but does not want to let you go so says you will be in his life forever...as a sexual partner on the side. He is being honest here. He is telling you he is not going to leave his wife. He knows full well he is cutting you off from better things.
I note your age. You are at a prime age to be meeting other men and just finding out who you are and what you are all about. Being this guys bit on the side is not, I am afraid is stopping this process. Do not join the ranks of women who,at your age, become mistresses and who wait for sometimes 10,15 years for something more from a man who never gives them anything. It is tragic and not a circumstance we would wish for you. Good luck hun and keep us posted. xxx
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A
female
reader, becca78  +, writes (14 December 2008):
Ignoring that he's married, he's your boss! I was in a FWB with my boss for a bit, and I really liked him too and wanted more - didn't happen. Luckily no one at work found out about it, but when things didn't work out I found it really hard to be in the same office as him. I was heartbroken and couldn't tell any of my colleagues why, even though they were concerned about me. It's not worth it! I've moved on now and he's still my boss and we have a working relationship only which is a lot better.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 you are setting yourself up for a heart break while your feelings are continuing to grow he is still telling you he wont have a emotional bond I think i would step back and let someone else play his sex toy
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