A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Cupidwell, I am in an awkward situation.I met a girl the other day at a cafeteria and as she was passing by, I stopped her and exchanged greetings so I could ask a bit about the place. The conversation went on and I asked her to sit with me so we can talk comfortably. I could sense she was eager to talk to me and even told me she be free for next half an hour when I inquired if she has somewhere to go. I had to rush to some place so after 15-20 minutes I told her I had to go (my friend called while talking to her) and I took her number. I asked her if it be fine if I contact you and she said, that be fine!Two days later, we texted for a while about likes, dislikes, music, arts, interests and general topics. When she knew about my age, she kind of starting acting weird. She said we are of same age and she thought I was younger and she must be sure what is going. She also mentioned that we are talking alot on texts when it has been just a day we met and we didn't meet long.She asked me to give her time so she could sort things out and then she will get back to me. She further added, she has no intentions of hurting me and apologised for acting weird. She wanted to be sure in herself what exactly it is as she was feeling a bit uncomfortable about it and thus needed to clear her mind first.Moreover, she wished me luck, with many prayers and wishes and told me it is not about me that I did something wrong. She told me she needs time and get back at me. In all the time she acted weird, I was being supportive. I told her that I respect her feelings and I can understand what she is going through and she doesnot need to worry about anything as I do not judge anyone. I am confused why she suddenly starting acting weird when she learnt that we are of same age and I am not younger to her ?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Yes, I think she may have misunderstood. " I want to be sure in myself about what 's going on... " What's going on is , a guy tryng to be social and make friends, no need for all this caution and diplomacy if she had got it right initially. Either that, or she is really selp protective- to the point of paranoid.
Anyway- same advice as Chigirl gave you. Tell her that you enjoyed your conversation and think you'd get along AS FRIENDS , so you hope it's gonna happen and there will be soon more chances to meet and talk. Oh and btw, you just had this weird idea , just in case, in the remote evenience that .... , your approach may have been misconstrued and it looked like you were putting your moves on on her - as she must be used by now from many fellow students ( add something nice like that :) , otherwise she may think you mean, eew, I would not dream of tryng anything with you because you are too ugly )no, she can relax, all you had in mind is to hopefully be friends.
Good luck !
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 April 2013):
 Her messages are weird. It's not like you need time to figure this out, talking and meeting people isn't a mystery.
Anyways. If you want to be friends with her just tell her you weren't making a pass at her for romance, and just thought she was nice and want to be friends.
She wants to be sure "in herself" of what's going on? Just tell her what's going on then.. that you aren't pursuing her, just talking.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): I am ORIGINAL POSTER of the question and lost my codeWell, I wasnot persuing her in any way more than just a friend!Basically, we both study same course at different universities and we talked a bit about the course and stuff!She is a senior (Two years).She told me that she has gone out of her way to talk to me as she is always very shy and it just happened. She just in my opinion needs to find out why she was doing that! But I am not sure.Her sentences like "WE ARE TALKING LOADS AND WE JUST MET" "I JUST WANT TO BE SURE IN MYSELF WHAT'S GOING ON AS ONE MUST BE SURE WHAT THEY ARE DOING""I WANT TO CLEAR UP MY MIND BEFORE GOING ANY FURTHER"Plus, before ending her conversation she asked me to wish her best for her upcoming exams and wished me luck for my exams!Kindly Help me
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (15 April 2013):
If you are confused, why did you tell her you understood?
My thought is the same as Cindy, actually. I thought so before reading her answer, so I think it must be correct. She never had an intention of dating you, and thinking you were younger she wanted to be friends. Sort of like, you could be a little brother to her. Now that you're of the same age, she is wary, thinking you just want to hit on her and don't care about being friends, and just want to get a chance to feel her up like most guys your age.
I mean, you have no intention of being just a friend, do you? Exactly. You want more. And she's not interested. She wasn't interested in you before either, she was just being friendly because she thought it was harmless to talk to you, thinking you were younger and it would stay just friendly.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (15 April 2013):
 I understand your confusion. It's a little strange that this girl would be so willing to engage a stranger who's younger than her and a male. I mean, if a random guy who I thought was a teenager asked me for my number after a short chat in a cafeteria, I would politely decline.
But it's possible that what you read as eagerness when the two of you talked was really just her being affable and helpful to someone who looked in need of a friendly hand. Perhaps then when you asked for her number and texted her, she slowly began to realize that you were smitten by her, felt bad rejecting you, and delayed ending the conversation.
Just to be sure, were you pursuing her romantically?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (15 April 2013):
Uh strange.
The only thing I could think of, and I am far from sure that this is the exact truth , but at least it is a theory,... it's that, because in general 18-21 girls do not date younger guys, she had misunderstood your interest, and she thought she was just being friendly, nice and bigsisterish with the new kid in the block,( or in the cafeteria ).
When she realized you are the same age, she also realized that much probably you weren't just tryng to make new friends, but you were hitting on her, and she was taken aback, or not pleased /not interested.
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