A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I knew this guy some 4 years back. He used to be my ex-'s friend. We weren't that close until 2 years ago. Both of us were single. We started dating, yet we were not committed. At some point i started to get tired and wanted to settle down, so when he proposed a trip together early this summer, i did not hesitate and say yes as i want to see whether we have chances to advance our relationship further.during the trip he asked for sex. i liked him, and did what he wish. yet after that, he said sth like "do you know i am bad?" and later"you are too good for me" ... and finally "we didn't work" etc... i felt cheated and we quarreled, nonetheless I didn't go home ASAP as I have spent so much money on hotels/airtix. but then, for the rest of the journey, he kept asking me for sex and on the last day, he said that he might love me, just give him more time. after the trip, i decided to stay a distance. I thought I need to reconsider our "relationship" - like where and how we would go. during that period, he had been great: reaching out to me whenever I need a hand/shoulder; extremely caring to me; kept sending me intimate messages. Not long after came my birthday. He asked me over messenger what i wanted for present. told me that he couldn't make it as he need to write an exam but will definitely want to see each other once he was done. so he was done, we went to a gathering - yet we didn't get the chance to speak during the party. when i was about to leave he asked me to stay ... then asked me totally irrelevant questions. since i needs go back to work, i asked him whether it would be fine if i date him the other day for lunch or dinner. so i dated him the other day for dinner. but then we couldn't carry our conversation as in the past. know our relationship was getting awkward. at a vulnerable point, i asked him what his vacation plans were. he looked difficult. then the rest of the evening, both of us went uneasy. he walked me to mtr and before i boarded the train, he said "please, never talk about traveling with me. I will never travel with you again."i lost control of my emotions and i yelled sth nasty at him. he repeated what he told me when he rejected me after sex. said he was bad and i was good, that he hated himself for what he had done. later even sent me a sms on phone for confirmation. i was really depressed for a few weeks. more depressed when i found out he was severing almost all means of communication. i gave up. when i was finally walking out of it one month later, i got another message from him, sth like this"... just want to share with you that there are moments which I followed my heart without too much thinking, which has given me a lot of hard feelings afterwards. The hard feelings are on the fact that I have made the person next to me suffered. This hard feeling is worse than taking the suffering by myself.While I am still joyful to see you achieving your personal goals, from a distance, I think I had better be at this distance apart, that I am not going to give you any discomfort. "What do you think? he still has feelings on me? or just faking it to make it look less awkward?honestly, i just feel so confused. i thought i was over my feelings but indeed not. i still like him. i feel hurt because he said so, and that he's avoiding me. will not speaking/seeing each other for sometime do us both good? or should we start talking again and work out a way that we feel comfy with?
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (16 October 2007):
I think he is bad news for you. Stay away from him, you will be better off in the long run. Look elsewhere for a bf.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): To be honest i do think think has feelings for you but he just doesn't want to admit it! Maybe you should meet with with him and ask why he does all these things and explain you dont know where you stand. If you really like him i would go and have words. Or you could leave it and carry on with your life because if you stay with this man you may always be worrying that he may split up with you for no reason. Its the typical 'its not you its me' scenario! If i was you i would have that broken heart for a few months, go out with your friends and dont look for love.....you will find Mr Right without even having to look for him!
I hope all goes well! Good luck Hun!
x
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