A
female
age
36-40,
*lovelyx
writes:my boyfriend of 6 years and my sons dad finished our relationship yesterday, i thought it was him havin one of his moods but today he has told me its over for good, and even told his mam and dad and asked them if he can move back home. they said no so he stopped at one of his friends. the thing is i dont know why he finished it like he did, all i get from him is its for the best but wont tell me how it will be for the best, he tells me he still loves me and he always needs me but he dont want to be with me. i dont no what to think im hurtin and got no answers to why. what do you think? please help me its killing me not knowing i dont want to lose him he is my soul mate my whole life, when he left me he took a part off me with him and ive told him all this.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 February 2009):
 Breaking up can be really hard. You can't force someone to stay who wants to go. You can hope you're his number one choice, but sometimes people change and grow in a different direction.
You deserve happiness, and your son deserves to grow up in safe loving environment. Without or without him, can you provide that? You two are young, and having a child can alter some young persons view of what they desire. Going from "dating" and having fun, to being the family man. He may be confused about setting aside the party life, for family life.
With this change, you be the best mother you can for your child. He might decide not having the family is a mistake, but you can't rush his decision. If you try to you'll cause further problems that may include loosing any chance you may have had.
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (14 February 2009):
 i don't know how old you are but i'm guessing around 21 and you met him at 15. So he's your first love.
You don't want to lose your first love. But it doesn't matter if you "fight" for him. His heart is not in it anymore and there's nothing you can do to change it.
The only way is to let it go and then time and absense will make him miss you. Then maybe he will come back to you. The more you fight for him, i guarantee you the further he will run. That's why they say,,"if you love him, set them free, and if its true love they will come back". It does not say,, cry...beg...convince...try every trick in the book to let him know you love him so he will love you. NO, it doesn't work that way.
Its hard to stomach but its reality. He will respect you a lot more if you walk away with your pride and dignity.
He already told you it's over for good.
that means, he doesn' want you anymore. Why do you want someone that does not want you. Yes six years seems like a long time, but you are so young. I promise the pain will heal one day. Let it go.
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A
female
reader, xlovelyx +, writes (14 February 2009):
xlovelyx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think I can give up just like that and not fight for them after 6 years of living together.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (14 February 2009):
i think its because he is still young and he wants to do much more with his life. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. He will always love you and care for you and your son but he wants to go out there and be on his own.
As much as it hurts, you have to let him go.
You can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you anymore. it takes two people to be in a relationship and it does hurt, but know that you will get over it. It takes time. I think the problem is you have made him your world and the truth is, he's not your world.
Go out there and find your world that doesn't include him. Find yourself again. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Do it for your child
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A
female
reader, xlovelyx +, writes (14 February 2009):
xlovelyx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhen we argue we normally deal with it and make up couple of hours later. he is 23 and my son is 4
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 February 2009):
Reply with more background of your relationship. What is it usually like. Do you get into fights often, or discuss issues as they come up. How old is he, and how old is your child.
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