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Confused boyfriend? Or is he just making me wait to be dumped?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2012)
A female Australia age 36-40, *nonymoussyd26 writes:

Hi all,

My boyfriend of 4 months has recently been acting weird (the past 2 weeks). He hasn't shown any affection, he has been cancelling plans to see me and he has avoided calls, simply texting me that he needs to think and that he needs space.

That night I decided to stop crying and go out and drown my sorrows. To my shock, he was at the same venue and asked to talk.

He says that it's him and not me and that he's just scared to be in a relationship and that he needs a few days to see if he misses me or not.

All of this does not make sense to me because he kissed me and hugged me during the night and he wasn't even drunk. He also said he's attracted to me and feels "a little bit" for me...

I am fearful that he is just making me wait to be dumped. What do I do? I am tempted to call him and message but I am scared of ruining things. I deserve to know where I stand and I am an absolute mess trying to make sense of things. Please help ASAP.

View related questions: drunk, needs space, text

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A male reader, glcop United States +, writes (14 July 2012):

I'm a guy...that's what we do when we feel like we are falling in love yo. Give him the space that he wants and you take some time for yourself too before you guys jump in. Play it cool, don't call him though until like two days from now if he doesn't call you. It's a psychological thang....I mean thing.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (14 July 2012):

cute angel agony auntHey hun,

If he says he cares,if he loves you then why is it soo hard for him to spend some time with you..

He feels a little bit,well that doesn't even make sense,you like someone or you don't as simple as that..

You can't be hanging around waiting for him to realise if he wants your or not while he is playing games like'give me space and I'l see if I miss you' ummm no it doesn't work like that at all..

If you like someone,you want to spend time with them rather than this..

You need to know where you stand in his life than keeping you in the sidebar!

Why don't you talk to him if your not comfortable with that send him a text,tell him 'I like you a lot,and I deeply care about you but the fact that you can't make up your mind about me,hurts..so I think I'd rather move away from you and give you your space that you so rightfully asked

'..

Sometimes men need to know when the lose that one person they take for granted they realise..and I am sure he will realise this as well..

Good luck x

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A female reader, AbigailBradbury United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2012):

AbigailBradbury agony auntWhat right does this guy have to make you wait to see if his issues will affect things! You are right, you have a right to know where you stand. Call him and tell him how it's making you feel. You can't wait around because it's hurting you. Fair enough if he is confused about his feelings, but then he should put you out your misery and dump you and see how he feels in a few weeks/months. Either wait for him and get hurt along the way until he figures out what he wants, or ditch him and just see if he comes back to you when he's grown up a bit. xx

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A female reader, Tez7 United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2012):

Hello,

Let him have his space, he might be confused about how he feels and just need to sort it out in his mind.

It sounds like he does care for you. But i understand being left in the dark isnt nice.

If you need to, just say to him that you are happy to give him some space for a while but you wont wait forever. it wouldnt be fair on either of you.

Time waits for no one.

Hope this helps a bit, good luck

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