A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i have a bf who is 17 and he has a cuzin that is the same age as me 14 i have met him loads of times i see him every time im with my boyfriend and well the point is i kinda like baida more hes funny nice caring and understands me more we meet up sometimes after school when my boyfriend is at collage its so cool with his cuzin i just dont know what to do i smile when i see my boy friend and my heart beats when i see his cuzin im worried what should i do , should i tell him from confused girl xx
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male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 I have the same feelings like what you are feeling right now. I have a 2nd cousin, 39 y.o., she had a hysterectomy a few years back and she is a bomb shell.
Heck with her hysterectomy, we can have sex 7/24 and there will be no worries of any in-bred birth defects. But this reason is not justifiable.
Biblical verses justifying family marriages between Israelites, as ordered by God to keep Israel pure, is not enough for you to have sex with a relative. It belongs solely to the Israelites, and not even true for the Israelis. Therefore, such could not be a sound basis "for doing" your cousin.
My cousin and I go out frequently, we have some fun and I even slept over at her place, a few times, very remote from everyone. We sleep in the same room, she is on the bed and I slept on a mat beside her bed. With the lights out, we could have made the nights longer. But being alone with her with her physical attractiveness is not a license for me "to make love" to her.
I like her very much. No, I love her very much. But everything is platonic and sexless. Not that I wouldn't like to have sex with her. Definitely, I would and it would be fetishly erotic, wouldn't it? But I mustn't.
But of course, we have to have our sensibilities straight. To hell with the law about incest lets go to the present day norms observed. Love has no bounderies but norms sets limits. Norms are observed by rational people and that separates us from the animals.
Sex for animals is for propagation of its species. Sex for us, humans, is to express love and lust but the expression must conform with the existing norms. A norm simply ask the question - is it normal?
I suffer because I have to follow a norm. It is better to suffer the pains of non expression of love than to agonize over the consequences of what a forbidden love might bring. I love my cousin more than any person I have previously known. But to have sex with her, guilt will follow - maybe it will not be mine, maybe it will be hers.
Sex is inferior than love. You can love a person and feel good all the time, afterwards, which is untrue with sex with a cousin.
If both of you (you and your cousin) are ready to suffer any unforseen and known consequences - like gossips within your community, birth defects because of inbreeding, conflict between family members because of the acts - go ahead. Love is free. Love is after all, something the angels fear to thread.
If your heart beats, its normal manifistation of an emotional excitement. But don't tell him anything. A cousin is a cousin. Loving a cousin is ok but having sex with a cousin is quite dangerous.
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