A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's a girl that I've liked for a number of years now and recently we were at a party where people where talking about things and one of them upset her and caused her to run away, I went to find her and when I did she was outside crying, I sat with her and we talked for a little while. After that she began to start to warm up to me. Eventually I decided to ask her out on a date. I was to nervous to do this in person so I wrote her a note. I didn't get a reply so I went up to her and asked if she got my note, she said that she didn't reply because she was "kind of blushing" as she put it. However she said she was busy all that week (and she was) so we started talking about other things but I got nervous and walked out mid-converstation.Then a little later I asked her out again (again through a note) and she gave me a note saying that not only was she busy but she wasn't interested.I then chased her down and tried to talk to her but she kept trying to talk to her friend who didn't seem interested so eventually I stopped her and said that I liked her, she said she knew but that it wasn't the same.Later I tried talking to her but she ignored me everytime (not fully ignoring like silence but like simple short anwsers).Eventually I started to notice her starting to look at me more so I thought that perhaps she was starting to like me so I wrote her some poems about how I felt.After that she told me that she liked someone else accused me of being a stalker and threatend to call the police. I told her I was sorry and that I would stop however she kept sending me messages telling me to stop so I decided I would stop only when she stopped (I told her this of course). I thought that she wouldn't stop because she really did like me (whether she knew it or not) and thst she couldn't let me go.Now I havn't heard from her in a while and she's pretty much all I can think of. I want to move on from this and start over agian. Her and I share alot in common and got along well (even when we were bickering). What should I do?
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female
reader, llleow  +, writes (13 May 2008):
It's seem like the girl don't like you to disturb her with your messages.Obviously she does like you but it is different kinds of like and you are pressuring her to think bout you and to disgust you.It is better to give yourself and her some times to cool down and think of the possibilities of both of us being more than good friend or maybe it would be more comfortable to be just friend.If you do love her than you would be happier if she would smile to you again like a friend than running away or call police whenever she saw you, right?I understand that it is very hard to get over someone especially someone that we loved for several years and it is hurt to discover that he/she doesn't love us back even though we already confessed our feeling.You both are not in the same page at the same time. Once she discovered your goodness then maybe she will say 'Yes'.Yes to be your gf.Just don't urge her to accept you while she still can't.I don't mean to give you a fake hope but please don't pressure her.Let her know that you are a good friend whenever she need one.What you can do now is to understand how long you are willing to wait for her?Remember people will grow old and you will find someone who is more suitable for you in the future. So if you still think that you don't want to lose her as a friend you can send her messages to apology for all of your annoying messages previously.If she is a nice lady then she will forgive you and you both are friend again. :-p
A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 I hate to say it but this lady seems to have made herself very clear. She wants to be left alone. Do not contact her again.
I don't mean to sound harsh but this smells of desperation to me, women like men do not respond well to it.
You sound like a nice enough guy, maybe its time you looked for someone who will have the same feelings for you?
Give this girl her space and look for someone new.
Best of luck!
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