A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with this guy since the beginning of this year. We met through common friends. At first we used to hang out just as friends, and our friendship grew stronger. He's a very nice guy. He's polite, respects people, is fun to be with and is very friendly. When we had first met and were getting to know each other, he told me that he has been hurt in the past and doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore. I have been hurt badly in the past too, and I am very skeptical about relationships now. And it was nice that we could hang around like buddies. All the time that I hung around with him, he's never made a pass at me or said anything disrespectful.But, last week he confessed that he has begun to like me. He said that I have all the qualities he's been looking for in a girl. And that he is giving me the freedom to be his girlfriend or just stay as a friend without putting any pressure on me.Thing is, I like him as a friend and till he told me about his feelings, I hadn't really thought of him in any other way.I don't mind dating him, but I am scared to get into a relationship. I have had 4 relationships in the past, and the last two ones were very rough. I was cheated on, lied to, verbally abused and treated very badly. Ever since then, I have just been very scared of being hurt.I know that this guy will do anything to keep me happy. He has done a lot for me, and actions do speak louder than words. His family knows about me and they are eager to meet me. He talks about me to his friends (friends who are not the common friends we have) and they have all been wanting to meet me too. But I haven't agreed to meet his family or friends yet.All my life, I have wanted a guy who would love me and treat me right, yet my previous boyfriends weren't like that at all. When I got into relationships with them, I was swept away by their looks and smooth words. I fell for them and they hurt me. This guy is not as good looking as my previous boyfriends, and he's just a little bit taller than me (and I'm quite short) and he's thinner than me. But he has all the qualities I have wanted in a man. I know its mean of me to put his looks ahead of his good personality, but I just want to be truthful. But what if he too hurts me?I don't feel a spark with him like how I felt with my previous boyfriends. But I do know that I can grow to love him.I don't know what to do? I'm confused. I don't want to hurt him or myself anymore. We both have had plenty of that in the past.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 October 2012):
 you don't feel a spark but you can "grow to love him"
sounds like an arranged marriage....
why not just date and see what happens...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): Darling, All I can say is, Give it a try. he seems like a nice guy, and his everything you want for in a guy, so give it a go.
Enjoy falling in love and getting hurt. Cuz getting hurt is a part of our life. We can never have a perfect life. Nobody's Perfect. But you can work it out, To make this so called life Beautiful.
Never be afraid of trying things just becoz of fear. I've done that. I'm not happy. I feel empty. 'coz i always have my imaginary fears win over me. So instead of being happy i chose to be alone and feel empty.
I don't want you to do the same mistake. His a great guy, you know it, Give it a Go, You don't find someone like him everyday... Good luck!!!
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