A
female
age
36-40,
*rincessjasmine
writes:basically Im with a guy attracted to him, hot body, LOVE HIM makes me feel good, emotioanl connection, physical as well but never orgasmed with him, i watched a girl strip and O'd by masturbation...wats up with that? but then I experimented with a guy stripping and O'd too by masturbating (and feel SO UNFAITHFUL AND BAD) but the O for the girl was a little harder..okay so am i lesbian? am i just with my guy cuz idk how to like a girl yet? thats wat this gay hotline said that I am too afraid to like girls so u dont kno how to yet..i thougth that was BULL SHIT i was like wat the h ell..are u saying i dont love my bf and i just love him as a friend then? does that hotline kno wat i went thru w/him...i fantasized only about him, care abot him, wannt him to kiss me and touch me soooooo WHY CANT i just be happy with him? y must this bother me, and y am i questioning? i hate it...its messin up my relationship, before this I ONLY thougth of him and longed for him..we see eachother on weekends, i go crazy if i dont see him, he makes me breathe heavy wen hes on the phone with me cuz he turns me on so quick, i told him i learned about my body and wat spot turns me on (he has touched my vagina but i never felt anything from that) I would only feel something with him kissing, touching me, seeing him hard, seeing him horny, but this new g spot discovery is something i wanna try withhim, ill see him next wk so ill kno if he can get me. I imagined him in a couple mastubations and it took some time but i got it...i wish i never saw ANY porn (guy or girl) because now i see them when i mastrubate, its gonna ruin my sexual relatioship..also now wen i see a girl im like ooo girl, boobs ass...and a guy i am like ooo penis...EVERYONE its like the whole world is sex to me now...I HATE IT ITS MESSING ME UP BIG TIME i feel disgusting. Also, ive questioned sexuality before, i question things like, shud i get with a girl to see wat its like eventho i think about it and imm like ahh i dont feel comfy doing that and it wud b SO FORCED, yea i like seein the body and i imagine touchin the female body but do i wanna date women? no its not my scene, the gay hotline however thinks oh ur prob afraid, if i was afraid i wudnt even question id just deny it and that wud be "easier" but im really trying to imagine it and i just cant, i really cant even try to see that, im so happy with my man why can i just b with him? I also question things like, am i just sayin that about my bf cuz thats how it is...girls are with boys? and its like no i do feel it was all natural i didnt force myself to like him, it happened with time, anyways...respond bak! thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (24 April 2008):
princessjasmine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u SO MUCh ...do u think i shud go to therapy for this or will it confuse me more? ur right..and wat happens is i hav these crazy confusions that make me so depressed i question evyer single thing i do or say...its INSANE..like i cant even breathe..im making myself sick by convincing myself im lesbian lol...or trying to picture me dating a girl wen clearly i just cant...now im seeing my bf as.and questioning him as do ireally like this...wen just a week ago i was head over heels (still am) but now just like am i just eh about him saying this to me (like he called me sexy yesterday) and I was like smiling, and then i questioned that like..am i smiling cuz thats the norm..for girls to smile wen guys call them sexy or am i smiling cuz im really liking that he said that to me..its prob the second one cuz it always has been..i smile naturally wen he says that stuff and he m akes me so happy...in fact id get upset wen he ditn say enough stuff to me like that...i constantly remember him calling me beautiful and ahh i love it...how dare that hotline put that in my head that hes "a friend" ugh that pissed me off. but thank u:)
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Hi there,
whoaa! I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down a little.
While I think helplines are great, in this case I think it has only served to confuse you even more. You have to remember a hotline is only as good as the person offering you advice. If the lady on the phone was a person who had difficulty accepting her sexuality herself, she will be naturally inclined to believe everyone does. So you call up and the first thing they think is here is another girl who is having difficulty accepting who she is.
The upshot being, I believe , poor advice.
I think your problems stem from your frustration at not being able to climax with your boyfriend. You somehow feel guilty about it as you can do it through masturbation . In this case I think you are just one of many women who have the same problem. In fact I believe more women than not generally can't orgasm through penetrative sex - they need clitoral stimulation. So the problems between you and your boyfriend are very common - they don't mean that you arent hetero.
My own wife and my friend's wife both are into chicks. My wife gets off watching chicks making out, she finds the female body very appealing - but she's not a lesbian. The point here being a lot of girls like girls, its as simple as that.
So I would clear all these negative thoughts out of your head. Masturbate away all you like to female and male porn there is no harm in that. But get your boyfriend to try and do the things you do to yourself when you masturbate - that is the key - practice makes perfect.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 well theirs one of a few things to think about in this scenario..one you may have fantasy about women and that can be mixed up with reality and by the looks of it in youre mind in reality its not what you want but by challenging youreself about it youre making youreself more unsure and thinking about it even more. two you could be bi like women but want a man.. three alot of women see other women and think oh yeah shes got a real nice ass or a nice pair, and when it comes to men to also think oh yeah break me of a piece of that hehe..but i think youre letting this get the better of you and it would be best to chill about this the more you get worried the worse youre making it.. i know you want to make sense of it all but getting in a tizy isnt making it any better..number four i think also that if you try something different ie watch women in porn it may turn you on more due to the fact that its something different and new and can make you more excited also since in ure mind ure with a man being with a women is something out their so u feel bad and unfaithful to feel the way you do when you masturabate..my idea would be too try and relax more and not to think about it overly as it will make it worse and i would try new things with my partner something i wouldnt of thought to do something new and interesting to get the blood pumping lol..by what you say i think its a fantasy that has gotten to far and youre not reacting well to it as most ppl dont wen they find out new things about themself try those tips see if they help.. sorry i couldnt be of more help hope it resolves itself aphexy xxx
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A
male
reader, Andrew83 +, writes (24 April 2008):
 It could be that your goin through feelings, thoughts and more for the same sex (female) and since you seen lesbian porn your havin different feelings about it.
If anything, you may be bisexual (like both genders), it is likely.
If you feel you like the way things are with you and your bf then keep it that way. As you said it happend naturally.
I really wouldnt say your lesbian as you have feelings for both male and female, wouldnt you agree?
Hotlines dont always get it right anyway so your left with either accept it or not, your choice.
You can always stop watchin the porn and see how it goes, weather you stop thinkin about women strippin i dunno.
I hope if anything this in some way helps you or if any other aunt posts their advice on the matter.
My answer is that your bisexual at most but not lesbian.
Sorry i can be of more help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I think that you're not gay I just think that you're really curios that's all, I go through the same thing. I love my bf he's amazing but I fantasize about girls all the time. I could like be on the train or something and see a really hot girl then I start daydreaming about us pleasing eachother sexually and the thought of that gets me soooo wet. I masturbate to girls all the time but honestly I don't think I'd really sleep with a girl, it's just a fantasy. Trust me most likely you're going through some phase.
Hope this helps, xoxoxoxoxo
Mrs.c2b
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