A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok well im not really asking for advice but you can leave messaages bout it if you want im saying all this to vent it out somehow ok...so im 14 and really confused about my sexuality , i know i dont need to know but it runs through my mind 24 /7 bec ause theres a girl i like and have liked her for like forever i mean she gives me major butterflies so much it hurts , my heart beats so fast it feels like its comin out of my chest , were not really frends but we hve spoke occasionally and had a laugh and she says im funny and when we spoke my hands went all sweaty and couldnt look at her in her eyes and went weak in the knees . I know she doesnt like girls well i dunno i dont tk to her. But it hurts and makes me frustrated and sad tht i have these feelings for someone of the same sex and want to be like my frends who go on bout boys and stuff but i have no interest in them at all. all my frends have boyfredns and i wishj i was like them.I was with a boy for 8 months but didnt really like him well i did but not attracted to him and at the end i was wiv him to convince myself tht i could be 100% straight and i tried so hard coz i dont want to have these feelings for girls coz i dont like the idea of being gay , i know you cant choose and i have no problem with anyone gay but i dont want it to be me who is. Coz no one i kno understands my pain and i can tell them but they dont get how i feel and say its not a problem and to get over it , but im in pain and im so frustrateed , upset and confuzed and usually bottle it up and every so often have to just tell how im feeling which is what im doing now. I really do like this girl and it hurts soo much i wanna die coz shes all i can think about , i try not to so hard but cant get her out my mind .liked her for like 1 year or 2.so there it is feel free to give coments , mite help , thankyou for reading x ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): You are still VERY young. Your sexuality isn't quite set in stone yet. I know some people who thought they were one thing and turned out to be another (straight turned gay/bisexual, bi turned gay, bi turned straight, etc etc) or you could even be pansexual. My advice? Stay away from her for awhile, join a support group online, maybe try to meet some people more like you in your area that are going through the same stuff you are. Having similar friends makes things SO much easier. But really? It's just like caring for any person you CAN'T be with. It is very painful, but you just have to take a step back and keep reminding yourself it can't happen. Spend some time focused on you. Go out and have fun. Spend some time figuring out yourself and your feelings. Liking someone is SO hard when you know you can't be with them (I've been in your EXACT position with a boy before) but sometimes you just have to do whats better for you, them, and your friendship. It will hurt now, but you will be SO MUCH happier down the road for it. You will find someone who you love and who loves you in return, and it will be the best thing you have ever experienced. A lot of people like someone they shouldn't-- (and by this I mean a STRAIGHT girl, not just a girl in general. liking girls is perfectly NORMAL- believe it or not. it's nothing bad or strange!) it is SO hard. Many girls like gay boys, or etc. It's just something you need to work through.
A
female
reader, BlackOakTree  +, writes (1 May 2011):
Love yourself for who you are girl! I might agree with the above posters on keeping a distance from this girl, but only because you need to figure out how you feel in general first! It sounds like you like girls over guys. That's fine! You can like both too, and your preferences can change over the years. You're young, you have plenty of time to figure things out and become comfortable with yourself. I'm 22 and have JUST now accepted who I am, and trust me, keeping it bottled up hasn't been fun. My advice to you is to find someone you can really talk to. You would be surprised at how accepting your friends really can be, and if you're too scared to talk to them, find another resource (like school, hotlines, websites) something you can! You'll feel so much better when you can just talk it out with someone, and you might even be surprised how much people with open up with you when you do.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (1 May 2011):
 I think you should stay away from this girl until you get your feeling under control. You are like a cork in a bottle right now and the last thing you need is more pressure. What would happen if you accidently blurted out to her how you felt one day? You already know she doesn't like girls. Not only would she stop being friends with you, but she could tell everyone else at school that you're gay and turn everyone against you. Kids your age can be so cruel and I would hate to see that happen to you.
So please stay away from her until you get over her. Once you get to college age you can be more free to be with whomever you want to be. But for right now it's probably not such a good idea.
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A
female
reader, lovehelper123 +, writes (1 May 2011):
 Awh that is the sweetest thing. i mean the likeing the girl for a year or 2 part. I can understand how u r feeling. It is hard for u to come out and say it. It's hard to say that u r gay. But don't go out with boys just to hide how u feel. And it will be hard for u when ppl find out u r gay. But u will not know until u try. Try and see if this gril likes u. If she doesnt excuse my language but screw her. So try! Try! Try!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): I think you should just try and be friends with her and take it slow and see where it goes. You could just be bisexual and like both guys and girls. For me i find girls sexualy attractive but i dont think i would ever date one, but every body is different. Right now i have been wit my bf over a year. I hope this helps a little bit.
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