A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I was with my ex for nearly 4 years. in the last 6 months of our relationship he moved away to study for his job this was fine as we saw each other on weekends and as soon as i graduated we were gonna live together somewhere in between both towns. He then only started seeing me occasionally which caused arguements we were on and off for a while and then he said he would not move in while we were arguing which was a good idea but then after one bad arguement he dumped me over the phone while with his mates just before valentineas day, he was in our hometown at this point so i was really upset that he could not of done this to my face. We have not spoken or seen each other since but share mutual friends which can be akward at times.i thought i was getting over him as it has been 4 months now. but have now heard he is moving back to our hometown with his friends and still keeping the job. this really hurts as he said living here was not an option for us as the commute to work was too long. Since this was the main reason for our break up it seems like all the arguments we went through were a waste of time and now I am so confused and dont now what to think. I feel like im back to square one and it hurts so much like we broke up yesterday.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): thanks i was gonna email him a happy birthday in a few weeks to be civil cos of the friends we share,but now im not sure and realise that maybe i should just leave it be.
thanks for your replies they have been realyy helpful x
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 It sounds like you'll be just fine. And he is a coward if he broke up with you and didn't really explain why...
Stinkers. Why do they get to get away with it? Well, I think you know you can hold your head up high if and when you ever encounter him again. I'm sure his behavior will come back and bite him in the rear end one day.
So stay strong and it'll get better, I promise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): hiya thanks that sounds exactly how i feel right now. I wish he just told me to my face and not have used the moving as an excuse . I think it was an excuse if he is moving back now with no problems, it would have been hard but much easier to handle in the long run as now i have lots of unanswered questions. I know I must move onand keeping the no contact is for the best it's just a little hard at the mo
thanks soooo much for your post xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 June 2008):
Hi, I think I understand how you're feeling. I had a long-time boyfriend in college, we had problems and split up but did stay in contact through letters from time to time. I thought I was over the split when I got the last letter from him telling me he'd met someone and was going to get married. BAMMO! Like being hit in the gut. And he cut contact with me completely.
Even though it had been over for a long time, I still smarted about his news. It was like revisiting all the hurt feelings all over again. What was old was freshly raw again.
That's been a while now, and time has done its thing and the feeling are pretty much evaporated now. I still remember the past, but it doesn't hurt at all.
I think that you'll be in a fresh little bit of mourning for the lost relationship again, but it will get better. Do the things you need to do to stay busy and keep yourself from dwelling on it too much, but do take a bit of time to embrace the anger and hurt and just experience them for a while.
Scream out loud, punch your pillow, let the anger out. Cry at a sad movie, write down your thoughts in a letter, then tear the letter up and flush it down the loo. Have a long heart-to-heart talk with your best girlfriend. Then dry off your tears and go do something you enjoy. Get the sun on your face, talk a walk, buy some flowers for yourself, or a new pair of shoes, whatever makes you happy. Cook a meal for a friend, make some plans to see a funny film, those kinds of things.
It will pass, it just takes time.
PS He sounds a bit of a coward to me.
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