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male
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anonymous
writes: Why do i have to conquer the world to be considered worthy of existence on this planet? I mean i did all the things required to let me earn a living for myself. But what i realize, it doesn't count anything for my family or ppl in my society. I am 24 and my cousins are highly successful businessmen and they have this huge ambitions of spreading their empire as wider as they could. Because they are rich and successful, my achievements do not count at all to my parents or to them. They keep belittling me about the meagre amount of money i can earn every month doing a job, when they could make same money in a day or hours. There is always this one up game being played with me, and i feel least important, though i have worked quite hard to reach even to this point. Whereas, some of my cousins have become rich by working on inherited business from their fathers. They are rich and naturally, we being lower middle-class, my father and brother are drawn towards their riches and live to serve them all the time. This is even though, both my father and brother earn sufficient to make a living. They find my cousins to be source of help in bad times and i admit they do help us when we need some money desperately. But i hate being slave to them for this reason and i have never asked for help from them myself. Still, i am pressurized by my father to serve them because they are rich. And they keep abusing me saying i am worth nothing and make comparisons. They would respect me only if i became as rich and successful as they are. I never had such grandious dreams ever. I hate them and try to avoid them constantly. I try to explain this situation to my parents but they don't understand. They want to remain close to them and suck them, especially my father and brother. This has created tension and conflicts between myself and my parents. I have run away from them and feel miserable to have lost my family's support due to the evils of my cousins. Please advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): The upside is this is the kind of competive environment that drive great accomplishment in individuals. On the other hand it is not working for you and the life you want to have.First assess your situation- if you are an assistant manager at K-Mart and spend the rest of your time playing XBox and watching mexican soaps maybe you are really not contributing your maximum. Make a realistic 5 year plan for yourself and what the steps are in between that will get you to your goal.You might also contribute to soceity by volunteering your time to help the poor or elderly. Your clients will definitly see your value to the world, and the ripple effect will mean that you will likly have a far greater positive effect than your cousins ever will have.Share your goals with your father and let him know that your are not planning on being a bum all the time.Then limited your contact with that side of the family- they dont sound all that mentally healthy.
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