A
male
age
36-40,
*ALAHADDIN
writes:my question is a little bit weird yet i feel like getting the answer from you members of dearcupid.The very begenning of my story took place in the 3rd of october 2010 when i first met this gorgeous girl at the company i recently joined. She was the one who trained me to use the system of the company. I really was playing it right at the first two sessions being funny and cocky and so on. thus she was literally attracted to me. then after a while i sent her an email confessing my love to her indirectly and that what killed everything too soon. by the way she is older than by 4 years. will you be able to tell me what to do/? Reply to this Question
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reader, SALAHADDIN +, writes (1 February 2011):
SALAHADDIN is verified as being by the original poster of the question Sorry ma'am. I think that I screwed up and that is why I am seeking help. I am not blaming her at all, and I know what I caused her. All I want now is just to make it up to her and I don't know how?So please, if you have a helpful idea, just give it to me, but please don't add any more pain to mine, because I am about to move on and get engaged to another lady, but I don't want to feel like I hurt somebody without making it up to him/her.Any ideas? Please inform me as soon as possible.Thank you so much, ma'am.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): You may think it's "just teasing" to mock a woman's feminity perhaps, but if you said that "joke" to me, I would be offended as well.
Similarly, if I told you drunk-texting this women was childish, cowardly, and indicative of a small penis, you might be rightly offended.
You have a pattern of crossing boundaries and you want to be forgiven every time. Take responsibility for your actions and stop blaming her.
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A
male
reader, SALAHADDIN +, writes (24 January 2011):
SALAHADDIN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ma'm for taking up from your precious time. there is a little mystery in my story that i did not clarify. let me give you the details . first of all, the email i sent to her was followed by another to undo the email telling her that (dont get me wrong i just liked this words and i wanted you to read them) she answered telling me to not worry she will never get me wrong and she really liked the words) i distanced myself from her for almost three weeks. Surprisingly she emailed me back with a message holding alot of hints of being comfortable with my first email. the message was about that success starts with a dream. then when shift turns into morning shift (by the way she always works in the morning shift ) she came by to my my office to say good morning then i mmediately sent her an email telling her how pretty she looks in the morning . she emailed me back saying thank you. After a while she texted me on cell telling me something about work )unfortunately i was totally drunk that night and i over texted her confessing my crush on her she got mad and told me that she considers me just as brother and asked me to not text her again i withdrew by saying that ok iam sorry for going out of my bounds and i accept being your brother and i cut off with her for a month (while this cut off she was trying to get in touch with me by all means of course i was hurt and i didnt reply . accidently i joined a website called goodreads this website is about books and rating them i found that she was a member of it . i opened her profile and i saw her choices of books and one of them was named a time to kill i teased her about her choices and told her that she is trying to be another person and she is not feminin and she should be feminin to find her manly man. i really did think that my message would hurt her that way she was totally full of hatred to me. i one night( i was drunk too) texted her trying to make things out not yet knowing she was hurt by the email. she started to give me one-word text and she called me but she was totally pissed off and told to get the hell out her mind . she was really hurt in a way tha i never saw a person would. i tried to apologize and told her that i meant nothing by the email but she refused to accept my apologize. i think i sent that night over a 50 texts to her mobile saying iam sorry and so on.after two days she emailed me saying that let bygones be bygones and she really realized that she was a member of that website and she knows nothing about how to use it and she wants me to teach her the web. unfortunately i emailed her and told her to not email me any more the things that are between us are just work nothing more. by the way she is really heartless and mysterious. i dont understand her at all. oneday she is open and recieptive and another not. i really love her madly. i would even sell myself for her. plese tell me what to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): I don't think it was just the confession that bothered her, it was the context.
If she's smart, she knows not to mix work and relationships. You need only look at a couple of the posts here on DC to see how troubled office relationship can be. No one can be your lover and your superior successfully. When you tell her something that personal, you put her in a very akward situation. Technically, it's inappropriate to flirt with your coworker and she should report you. She hasn't done that so count yourself lucky. If she no longer wants to speak to you, she probably doesn't want to encourage your feelings.
I had a friend who succeeded temporarily at this with a boss. He was 25 snd she was in her 30s, they had an affair, but when she got too uncomfortable with the relationship, she fired him.
If she's is in fact the rare individual open to a romance at the place where she works with a younger intern, you may have just come onto too strong or seemed creepy. How can you claim to love someone after only after a couple weeks? If someone told me this after two training sessions, I would assume they just wanted to get in my pants. It would creep my out.
I would say, give her her space. Don't try to talk or contact her for a while. Let her approach you when she's ready. If this goes on for a while (a while being several months), then try to reboot things. Apologize for flirting with her (this may save your job as well as your relationship), tell her you would like to have a normal friendly platonic relationship. The best relationships start from friendships anyway.
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